MY THOUGHTS FOR THE DAY

I promised myself that I would write today. That was at noon today and it is now almost 12 hours later. Better late than never. I have had a few thoughts dominate my thinking throughout the day, one of which I will focus on in the course of my time here. This may be long because I might be staying up for awhile. I drank 2 americanos throughout the day the last sip being only a few hours ago and I just consumed a PB & J sandwhich. My body tends to react to caffeine rather dramactically since its not used to it and I hear that peanut butter can keep you up to. The first few paragraphs will be spacy and off subject but leading to what I want to write about. Bear with me.

I just purchased the new Phil Wickham album which has received praise from all of its recent purchasers so i decided to give itunes and Phil some of my money. However, the downloading process for some reason is taking unusually long and I am wondering if itunes will take my money without giving me the album I paid for. Surely. Apparently I purchased a Jason Morant EP awhile back and it didn't download at the time but seems to be slowly doing this now. Wait nevermind, I am having my doubts. Nonetheless if in the time I am writing whatever subject I am going to write on in this blog and the new tunes download then I will give you my thoughts, if not then I will let the sun go down on my anger towards the itunes store, though I will still love Apple always and forever.

Ok it just started its download. Both purchases. I'll get back to you on my thoughts. Moving on.

I sat today in Coffee Bean in the same chair, at the same table, in the same corner with the same drink in hand doing the same thing I always do in the same chair, at the same table, in the same corner, with the same drink in hand. Reading while listening to the ipod on shuffle. I like to shuffle. It is a great option. I get so overwhelmed at times with how much music I have on my ipod that I become quite indecisive as to what music will best suit the book I am reading or the mood I am in. That is why I hit the shuffle button.

I just started a new book called Dear Church: Letters from a Disillusioned Generation. It has been a good read, as the theme of the book resignates with my current thoughts and questions about the Church. I think Sarah Cunningham offers some keen incites while maintaining a balanced approach towards some of the dominant questions my generation seems to be asking about the institutional Church today. Alot of disillusioned people out there...I am one of them.

Anyways, as I was reading my mind wondered, as it usually does during an extended reading session, this one being upwards of 3 hours, the book was that intriguing. Yet, while reading, my soul became overwhelmed and moved, which may have been prompted by either a statement I had read in the book or by a song I was listening to. Both of which probably contributed to. It got me thinking on this:

Let me say, I am a romantic. I am not trying to boast about my superb abilities to sweep a girl off her feet. Not that kind of romantic. Not saying that I am not one of those. But for some reason I am a romantic in the true sense of the word. I like ideals. I like beautiful stories. I wish at times I were a Lewis and Clark, a Christopher Columbus or any of histories great explorers fictional or non-fictional alike, traveling the world treking into uncharted territories. Something in me longs to be the hero of a story where I am this warrior fighting for some worthy cause, to rescue a damsal in distress. I feel connected to the stories of men who have done such. Stories whose common theme is often portrayed by the great authors of the classic epics. Something in me feels connected to Odysseus as he sailed on his epic voyage after the Trojan Wars or to King Leonidus as he and his 300 take their stand against the army of the Persian Empire to fight for love and land. At the same time I feel connected to Maximus as he makes his stand against a corrupt emperor for the sake of a dream. Maybe all such stories are simply allegories to that which is a real story taking place in real time only unseen by our human eyes. What is this in me that stirs?

I feel like I am looking past the reality that my eyes physically see, seeing beyond the pane of cloudy glass, deemed my world, seeing something sitting beyond. It's like wondering through the wardrobe into a mystic place, a place that is real, yet, unseen. A place that truly exists, yet, sits just on the other side of what mans eye can see. It's a place where God can be seen, where a spirit of good and evil takes a real form while being a form alien to any I am familiar with. It is a place were good and evil battle for the fall of a Kingdom. Its a place that on this side of life, I am afraid, I cannot be fully invited into, yet, I know I am fully apart of.

I often find myself wanting to escape to this place just for a glimpse. I want to see through the other side of the wardrobe, in hopes of discovering a Narnia or a Middle Earth. As long as breath is in my lungs I am afraid I am kept to just a glimpse. That's ok for it will be in death that the real adventure will begin, I am sure of it. Where finally we will step onto the other side of that clouded window. Where we will at last see behind the insipiration of the stories, the poems, the lyrics, and the movies that stir something within our souls. It will be on the other side of the window that it will all make sense. It will be on the other side that we, who are heirs to The Kingdom, will see He who is the author of this eternal epic story which we were always apart of and with a smile on our face say, "O, that's why."

So with this I am done.

Phil Wickham I do recommend. If not the whole album do purchase, True Love and You're Beautiful.