SEPTEMBER AND OCTOBER UPDATE

Hello!

It is hard to take in the brevity of these last two years. Transition is coming very quickly in my life. Exciting, yes! Fearful, yes! To be honest it has been a challenging last two months. My internship is concluding and I have no clue what I will be doing come January. I am in place of transition where I cannot see very far ahead of me, yet it is here that I have found that the Lord has deeply ministered to me amidst the uncertainty. Yes, anxiety has come and gone but I have found solace in Paul’s words,

“Do not worry about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses every thought, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

What a magnificent promise! Again and again the Lord has confirmed that in His Word there will be rest. Indeed, I have found that rest is available for the weary, in His Word. Even as the storms of uncertainty rage all around me there is rest and peace.

But I would say at this point I am feeling more excited than any other emotion because I have a no idea what is next. That seems crazy, but I know that it is during the times of uncertainty I am most reliant upon on the Lord. Feeling the fall of uncertainty is difficult to bear when you have no faith in the One who is in the business of being intimately involved in the small details of our lives. But there is great peace knowing that one of the names my Father is known by is Provider. Indeed I have continually come to see that He is my Provider. So here I am today uncertain of the exact place that I will land but taking the steps to get to that place all the while trusting the Lord will divinely direct the process.

Currently I have re-enrolled in school at Liberty Baptist Theological Seminary to work on another Master’s degree. At this point I am certain I will work towards a Master of Divinity as I work full time, wherever that may be. However, right now I am thinking through when it will be best to start courses. It will be either this Spring or during the Summer. My hopes will be to complete this degree in a year and half where upon completion I will most likely move towards starting work on a Doctorate in missiology (Theology of missions).

Yes, my plans are to remain here in Southern California after January. I am sold. Once you move to California it is hard to leave! But really I am not being led to move away quite yet. I believe the Lord still wants me to remain here for another season or so. As I sit tight for further direction I am actively searching for a job primarily in ministry but also considering jobs outside of the church at least for a season. Right now I will go where there is provision. I will keep you informed as the process continues.

During the last six weeks of my internship I will continue to be working with the missions team here mobilizing our members to live a life on mission. I am working closely with our college ministry as well as we begin thinking through and planning for the global PEACE trips that our college students will be taking this summer. Currently we are considering taking a big group down to work with churches in the Dominican Republic where I visited a little over three weeks ago.

We have just concluded a campaign here at Saddleback called 40 Days of Love. It has been an incredible series about the relationship principles of Jesus. I would encourage you to listen to the series online at www.saddlebackfamily.com in your spare time and also to pick a copy of The Relationship Principles of Jesus by Tom Holladay, a book that the series was based off of. Incredible stuff!

How grateful I am for you! I praise God for you! Thank you for your faithfulness in supporting me through praying and sending in financial support over the course of this journey. For those who have supported me financially thank you for maintaining your financial commitments over these last two years especially during a time like we are facing in our economy now. Your gifts and sacrificial giving has been the reason I am where I am at today. I am greatly humbled and can never say thank you enough. May God continue to provide your needs according to your riches in Christ. My prayer for you is that God may fold ten times that which you have supported me with over these last two years.

AUGUST AND SEPTEMBER UPDATE

It seems that the summer has quickly come and gone, as it seems to always do. Although a great benefit to living in this part of the world is that summer lasts a little longer than for the rest of the country. Something I am very grateful for. However, I have noticed that I have quickly acclimated to the weather here as even when it becomes slightly cool I am running for a jacket! Christmas in Arkansas will be a cold one this year for me!

Anyways, summers end proved to be a busy time in my life with a big outreach we do every year called Operation Backpack. During this outreach we had our members buy backpacks and fill them with school supplies. Once members brought the backpacks back we delivered the 2300 backpacks to dozens of schools and community centers around Southern California. It proved to be an incredible outreach as hundreds of young students in low income families were shown love by being given a backpack filled with school supplies for the school year. It was a great opportunity to watch the church be the church.

As summer time has come to an end Saddleback has been gearing up for the fall. We have kicked off our fall season of ministry at Saddleback with nothing more and nothing less than 40 Days of Love. 40 Days of Love is focused on teaching the relational principles Jesus taught and lived out. For the local team and myself the campaign has given us a great opportunity to mobilize Saddleback to be apart of the many local ministries our volunteers are leading. From down south of the border in Baja Mexico to the streets of Los Angeles we are encouraging people to move outside the comfort of their homes and the church building itself to put the love of Christ on display to the local community and beyond.

As of last week I found out that I will be traveling to Dominican Republic with several of Saddleback’s pastors for a three day tour of some ministries going on there. Our goal will be to see how Saddleback can get involved and partner with a group of men who are creating some community development ministries in and around Santiago. Going on this trip came as a surprise to me, so I am very grateful to be apart of this vision trip that will prayerfully result in Saddleback sending many mission teams to the Dominican Republic.

This year is going by at such a rapid pace! I cannot believe that we are only days away from October and a month away from the start of the holiday season, my favorite time of the year! This means that I am now only three months away from the completion of this two year join that I have been on. I cannot thank you enough for how much you have supported me on during this time both in helping me financially and through your support in prayers. They are always felt. I have been able to see God supply all of my needs according to my riches in Christ on all levels!

Thank you again for all that you do and for being my support through this season of life. God is good!

Please be praying for me to have wisdom, discernment, and courage as I begin looking at what is next for me after my internship concludes the first of January.

JUNE AND JULY UPDATE

Hello!

Well it has been a two months since my last letter to you. I will attempt now to bring you up to date on all that have experienced over the course of these last two months and am currently doing.

It is hard to believe that it has now been exactly one year and seven months since I have moved to Southern California! This time has flown by! It does not seem that to long ago I was packing up in Northwest Arkansas preparing for my adventures out here. Looking back then I would have had no idea of all that I would experience and learn. Nonetheless it has been an incredible time made very much possible by your generous gifts and support to me both financially and through prayer. Thank you! I am so grateful to have you apart of this season of my life.

Looking now on these last two months let me fill you in what I have been doing and have experienced. Summer at Saddleback means a season when most ministries slow down, except for the mission’s team. This is our high season if you will with many people going on global P.E.A.C.E. trips and getting involved in some local P.E.A.C.E. ministries. Transitioning onto our Local Missions Team in April I spent the last part of May and the first several weeks of June creating some opportunities for Saddleback members to be involved in urban ministry in Los Angeles on Skid Row. God opened some great doors for Saddleback members to go down to Los Angeles and partner with some local churches doing some incredible ministry to the homeless. I was able to see many eyes opened and new passions develop in people as they served the least of these on Skid Row on a couple of different ministry outings. I love this!

While I was focusing my attention on local missions I was also balancing my time preparing a team of nine college and high school students for a month long P.E.A.C.E. trip to India. This had been a long five months of preparation. Thus, I was grateful when the day of our departure had come. On June 19 the team and I boarded a plane headed for Delhi, India. For some of the team this was their first time to leave the country on a missions trip! For all of us, this was our first time to India, thus, I had no idea what to expect. However, God had some amazing things in store for us.


We arrived in Delhi June 20 tired but excited to be on the ground from a long journey across the world. Our first two weeks of the trip were spent in Delhi weaving in and out of traffic to visit different ministries around the city. We spent our time working with local Hindu university students, encouraging new believers in house churches in the slums of Delhi and visiting ministries in the slums that exist to both teach work skills to young men and women as well as to teach them about Christ. This proved to be an incredible time.


Moving into our third week in India we boarded a train in Delhi and traveled north. In the North we were introduced to some young pastors, and I mean young, who would better be described as modern apostles. We partnered with these pastors in their ministry in the rural villages of the north and were able to see and experience only what could be described as the gospel stories happening right before us. We were truly apart of the New Testament Church during our time in the North of India. God is doing great and mighty things through some young men and women who are sold on making the message of the gospel known to all in the small part of the world that He has placed them in.


Our last day in the North we traveled to Nepal were we spent the day in a village tucked beneath the foothills of the Himalayas that had never heard the gospel before. We truly had no idea what to expect (the we included the young pastors who went with us). Arriving into the village we stepped out of our SUV’s, prayed, and began walking throughout the village stopping and engaging in conversation with those we came across. These conversations led to invitations into homes where once inside we were able to pull out the Jesus Film and show to the household. The Nepalese villagers welcomed us with open arms as well as the gospel that we came to proclaim. The Lord opened up a great opportunity that day for the local pastors in North India to continue the work in this village freshly introduced to the truth of the gospel. Praise the Lord!


Leaving the North after a fruitful week of ministry we headed back down to Delhi were we would spend the night and the next morning board a plane for Kashmir for a time of rest and debriefing from our three intense weeks of ministry. In Kashmir which is primarily a Muslim region, we were able to connect with a true hero of the faith who is working among the Muslims in Kashmir. We were introduced to some young men who have chosen to follow Jesus after spending their early life as Muslims. I will forever be changed by hearing these men, who many were my age, tell their stories about how they came to follow Christ. Truly amazing! Persecution is very much a part of these men’s lives. What an inspiration they were to a crew of young western Christians.


My time in India was marked with many difficulties and failures, yet, with many learning’s and victories. The Lord reminded me of the power of prayer, the powers that seek to oppose us, and the power of the gospel that we are called to unrelentingly proclaim to those around us. Indeed my team and I had quite the adventure in India. Returning home on July 19 I quickly acclimated back to life in Orange County yet I have brought home a fresh perspective on life and the ministry the Lord has called me to. Thank you for your prayers while we were there!

BUCKET LIST

Ok not going to type to long. Really not going to write anything of importance. I am watching shark week on on Discovery. Man I love this channel really. It has all the best shows which includes Man vs Wild. I have realized that Bear Grylls is my hero. I think its annoying when people put Jesus as their hero. I man Jesus is worthy of hero status but he is so much more than a hero. Anyways Bear Grylls is my new hero. I just finished reading his book The Kid Who Climbed Everest. Good read. He is the youngest person to climb Everest at 23 years old. What the heck. I mean really. Quite inspiring. I have not yet added Everest to my bucket list I don't think I will just because it cost like $60,000 to climb it. First, I doubt I will ever have that much money to put into a hiking trip and second, I hate raising support. So I don't think that I will do it. However, I will definantly go trek through the Himalayas in the next 3 years, less expensive and should be pretty thrilling. I mean not as thrilling as summating the highest peak in the world but should come a close second. Does anyone want to go? Well anyways speaking of bucket lists I am now officially starting one.

1. Trek the Himalayas
2. Skydive solo
3. Purchase a round the world ticket and go for 6 months
4. Swim with a great white (I am watching Shark Week)
5. Summit the highest peaks in North America and South America
6. Trek the Andes
7. Catch a shark (I am watching Shark Week)
8. Sail the Pacific (well some of it)
9. Obtain my pilots license
10. Live on a deserted Island for two weeks
11. Save someone's life
12. Speak another language fluently

That will do it for now. More will be added later. So Bear Gyrlls is my hero. And Jesus is so much more than a hero. Amen.

BUT I CAN PRAY

Work is over for the day. I thought I would stop and get caught up on finding out what is happening in this crazy world we live in. Out of all the madness going on I have been particularly interested in finding out what is taking place in Kenya. What better way of finding out the "truth" than our worlds media sources. Yes there was some sarcasm involved there.

Of course the media is just that "the media" but I have come to enjoy the reports and articles on the BBC. They do a much better job on coverage of international news than most American based media in my humble opinion. After reading through some gripping and informative articles I came across an excerpt from an article entitled "Kenya's poor at each others throats" written by BCC reporter Fergal Keane. I thought it worthy of expounding on.

Fergal at the end of the article throws in an interview he did with a woman that is experiencing the lack of stability firsthand. The excerpt reads as follows:

"In the middle of all this are families like that of Ruth Awuma. She is married with six children and a husband who cannot work due to dreadful burn injuries. A lit candle fell on his bed while he slept.

Ruth rises every day at dawn and travels to work as a maid in Nairobi, returning home every evening just in time to put her younger children to bed.

I asked what her dream was. She didn't talk about a new president or democracy. Such things seemed abstract in her dark and claustrophobic home.

"I would love a water supply in my house," she said.

But you must know that is unlikely, I said.

Ruth laughed. "But I can pray," she replied.

It was about as eloquent a statement of hope as you could hear in Kenya these days." Click here to read full article

And there we have it friends a lovely topic to write on.

Fergal tells Ruth, "You know Ruth, that dream you have of water, that probably will not happen. I don't want to be rude but seriously come back down to reality, don't get your hopes up, you must know that is not very likely for you to get a water supply in your house! That is actually crazy"

In the very face of opposition Ruth laughs, "O Fergal, indeed what are the possibilities for me to get a water supply. I would in fact be the first in the neighborhood to obtain one, but you know, I can pray. So that's what I will do, I will pray!"

Fergal with a smile nodds his head pleasantly in agreement, though knowing full well prayer is a hopeless act, "Ah, yes Ruth, indeed, you can pray."

This brought a smile to my face. I wish I could go back in this moment to be present in this conversation just so I could give Ruth a hug and say keep on praying sister. Don't give up on your dreams.

Now alot could be written here, of the faith of the Africans, of the power of prayer, of having hope in desperate times or of being optimistic in difficult circumstances all of which could be an appropriate topic to expound on from the inspiration this one statement. Maybe I will come back to one of those at another time when I have more time to write. But for now I leave here with this thought in mind, we have not because we ask not. Thanks Ruth for reminding me, keep on laughing at the odds and praying expectantly.

JANUARY UPDATE

The holidays have come and gone. It is hard to believe that I have been in California for one year now! In spending some time reflecting upon this last year I am amazed at the experiences I have had as well as some of the learning’s. I do apologize indeed for not writing of the happenings in my life over the last several months. It has been a humbling, yet, refreshing season the Lord has brought me through. No need to reflect on all of the learnings in this letter. Yet, I will say that the Lord has been so faithful. I am a blessed man indeed!

During the holidays I had the opportunity to be home. For a good two weeks I was able to get away from some of the busyness and enter into an incredible time of rest. It could not have come at a better time! During these couple of weeks home my family and I traveled to Texas to celebrate Christmas in Waco with my Uncle and Aunt and cousins. It had been such a long time since we last celebrated Christmas with extended family. It was a wonderful time though! After Christmas we began to journey back up North but not without first stopping in East Texas to be with some family friends from Austin who we have known for many years. After several days of fishing, reminiscing, and resting we made the final leg of the journey back to Arkansas were I concluded my time away from California.

The time home went by quickly but I was able to get some great rest, rest that has benefited me over the last several weeks of being home. Although I was gone for only two weeks upon coming back to California I realized that it was probably one week longer than I needed to be gone since I came back to church with a large workload. Yet, it was all worth it.

So what have I been working on might you ask? Well do let me share. I believe I shared in my last update that I am now working as the P.E.A.C.E. coordinator in our college ministry, Crave. In this role my responsibility is quite simply to mobilize college aged students to be active followers of Christ in both our local community and the world. Over the last month the ministry team of Crave and myself have been working towards setting up five global P.E.A.C.E. trips for our students to travel on this summer. In the last several weeks to our joy sixty-five “Cravers” signed up to go on one of the five trips as a P.E.A.C.E. team to Rwanda, Argentina, Czech Republic, India, and Ukraine anywhere between two weeks to one month. Therefore, the last two weeks have proven busy as we have begun preparing these Crave P.E.A.C.E. teams to go global.

On top of all that is happening in Crave I have been preparing to go back to Rwanda for about a month from March 14 – April 11. Pastor Rick has been invited to launch the first nationwide 40 Days of Purpose in Rwanda, an historic and exciting event in a country still working through issues of reconciliation from the 1994 genocide. On this trip I will be leading several teams partnering with some of the local churches in Rwanda to help them get started in bringing their communities through 40 Days of Purpose. Please be praying that God would do big things in the Rwanda during their journey through 40 Days.

This next year should indeed fly by with all that will be occurring! Already it is almost the end of January. So eleven more months to go! By this time next year I have no clue as to where God will have me, which, is indeed something that I ask you to join in prayer with me about. I rest in the fact that God will reveal what that next step is, in the meantime I am focusing on the exciting year ahead I am greatly blessed by you! Thank you so much for your continued prayers and for your support!

THE SQUALL IS HERE

Drop the sails!
Pull up the anchor!
Cut loose the ropes!
The squall is here!
We must get out of this harbor,
Out to the open sea!
On the depths is our safety.
(Indeed, on the depths is my freedom.)

Are you crazy!
The depths will consume us.
The storm will overpower us!
The ship cannot sail in the great squall.
Have you gone mad!
Do you not know what this cutter is made of!
We are but wood and rope!

Can you not see!
The harbor poses no safety.
The rocks are no haven.
Indeed, a vessel of wood and rope we sail upon.
Yet, this vessel was made for such a squall.
We will hold up and not break apart.
Set course for this great squall.
There we will find safety,
(There I will find my freedom.)
Indeed, in the center of the storm.

Captain to set sail would be certain death!
Can you not see we are but wood and rope!
No match for the power of wind and wave.
What will hold us together!
Have you gone mad?

Certain death?
To remain safe would be certain death!
This cutter was built by such great squalls.
To remain imprisoned in the harbor
Anchored in by rope and fear
This young lad is certain death.
Do not fear what waits.
Indeed it is great.
Trust your cutter.
Drop the sails!
The squall is here!

JUST NOT YET

In between services yesterday (I went to all the services yesterday) I went to a wedding of a couple I have gotten to know over the last several months. I am glad I am not getting married anytime soon. I think the more I think about what it means to get married the more I am not ready to step into anything that could lead me to getting married. It is a committment thing.

Singleness is so great though. I feel bad for people who get into relationships for all the wrong reasons, like they just have to have someone there so they can know they are liked by someone. That's no bueno. Why not just know you are loved by Jesus so much more than anyone could ever love you? Why go looking for a pseudo love in a shallow relationship? Then you don't have to spend time talking on the phone checking in nor do you have to spend money, none at all. You don't need a phone to talk to Jesus.

I think it is silly, even on the virge of absolutely stupid when people use the phrase, "I am going to date Jesus for awhile." Seriously. Why do people say this? You must want a shallow relationship with Jesus. That's harsh. But seriously, don't say that. You could rather say, "I am going to let Jesus be the source of my affirmation and fulfillment because He gives me love, true love, not the other stuff that makes you tingle inside. His love brings me confidence, it brings me security because His love is faithful, He would never stop giving it. Even when I whore myself to the world he comes and woows me and buys me back from my captors. I don't date Jesus, Jesus is my lover, He is mine and I am His."

Its funny how after reading that last part you will be like, Shawn, that sounded kind of gay. Maybe so I mean it kind of does. But seriously why do our minds have to instantly be fixated on sexual intercourse at the sound of the word lover. Lets, for a moment, throw aside what our society has done to our minds and purely look at the word lover for how our Father sees it. Lets look at it through the lens of the relationship we were originally created to have with the Father. The word lover denotes the idea of deep seaded intimacy with another. Sex is very much apart of intimacy. But sex is only an outward or physical expression purposed to satisfy a longing within the soul of every human. A longing to be loved, to be adored, to be sought after and to be connected on a level so deep words struggle to define.

Yet, is this not the the heart of our Father, that this part of us, that longing deep with in our souls for a lover, that part of the soul which longs for intament connection, be met by Him and Him alone? For I am His and He is mine.

It is you, child, who have been chosen to be showered with His holy and untainted love and it is He who in return longs for our love, a love in process of being made perfect. Let your lover, The Lover, meet you within the longings of your soul. Long for love, but let your longings first be satisfied in Him. For in this place will you find what you are looking for. It is when you invite in the one who can satisfy will you know love and how to love in return.

All this to say. Marriage will one day be great. Just not yet.

GIVE SOME LOVE

It is hard to believe! Christmas Day is only 40 days from today. Truly, this is my favorite time of the year. Eggnog, Christmas tree decorating, cold weather, watching Christmas Vacation, the seasonal tunes, the gifts, O the bliss! I mean it does not get much better than this right? For some who have not left this stage of life. Stay there as long as you can! It is a beautiful and merry time of life.

Note to the receiver: (If you are 13 years and younger stop reading here)!

For others on the fringes or who may be way on the other side of the blissfulness you know what time of year it is. It is that time to begin asking the infamous question. Yes, you know the question. That one you seem to ask with such joy and enthusiasm because no one should be a Scrooge this time a year, yet deep down hoping could be whispered out the corner of your mouth, knowing that its very words in the right persons ears could be the end of that rather large savings account you intended on not touching for another two years. Yes the days of the great asking are quickly approaching.

"So, (insert name), what do you want this year for Christmas?"

I might be making myself a little to vulnerable here. You might be thinking by this point, "Well Shawn this doesn't sound to merry and your suppost to be merry during Christmas. He must be one of the greedy ones!" Stay with me! Granted this may be the scrooge in me coming for a visit. But then again was Scrooge not created by the capitalist as a reminder to the consumer? Maybe not, Charles Dickens actually made him up, still.

I am quite astonded by how, I, over the last several years, have transitioned from a mindset of what the Christmas season has BECOME into what it SHOULD be about. Indeed, the holiday season at least for the follower of Jesus Christ, marks the beginning of the celebration of the incarnation of Jesus the Christ. However, over the centuries, I am guessing, the celebration of Christmas has evolved from a celebration of a man and the salvation He has provided into a celebration for both the capitalist and for the consumer. It has transitioned into a celebration for all to add to their collection of stuff! It is a season for the consumer in all of us to shine and for the capitalist to make a buck. Yet it is true, my mindset of what giving and receiving has been framed by both the blessing and the cures of our society, plenty. Now I know this might sound quite harsh as this observation quickly points the finger. Yet, I would say that it might not be to far away from the truth.

Some give to make themselves feel good, some give to receive, some only receive because they don't have the means to give, some give for the sake of meeting a need to those who rarely receive, while others give because they love those they give to. Who are you? I tend to be all the above with the last of these used the least. Here is a concluding thought to wrap all of this up.

Christmas is not so much about being a consumer nor is it really about being a doner. It is not about getting a gift for those who already have to meet a want nor is it about getting a gift for those who have not so that you can feel a sweet feeling. Rather Christmas is the day we can celebrate the day humanity was first loved. It is a day humanity can corporately celebrate their ability to look at others and love them whether they be a loved one or a least one. Is it not true that we can love because we were first loved? Let Christmas be a celebration of the incarnation of love in flesh and blood. Use your ability not to be a consumer this year nor a doner. Use your ability to be a lover. Let love motivate your wallet. Let love motivate the gift.

Here is one way to love this year. Visit Gospel for Asia Christmas to start giving some love!

CHRISTAMS GIFTS -- LOOK NO FURTHER

Nathan George started an organization called Trade As One. You have the oppurtunity to use your spending power to change lives! Please watch this video. Visit Trade As One to start shopping!

BLOGGING THOUGHTS

I think I am going to start blogging on this thing more often. There is always time to write about life and the random thoughts that filter in and out of my mind. In fact I need to. I don't even know how many people actually read any of this, except you mom and dad. Its always nice to have parental support. This blog has that same support I find strikingly simular to that received at friday night high school football games. You know, where even though you are the athlete that is not even good (in fact you don't even fall into athlete category it is more the category of, "I post pictures on myspace of an incredible tackle I made, even though it is my own team mate, (thank goodness for photoshop) so that people think that I am good at football.") you still receive the parental pat on the back and a hearty "Great job" though it sounds more like, "You looked so good sitting on the bench," and "O the way you handed out the water to the starters, yes that was so great." Anyways, thanks mom and dad for your support for the blog.

But nonetheless it will be a little more text for you to read then the typical once a month update about some extremely random, deep sounding thought of mine, that is written in such a way that invokes entirely to much confusion on your part. Those will continue to make an appearance, of course, but I hope to entertain you with even more random real life stuff, like "I just bought some new "organic" fiber to help my body detoxifies all the evil poisons that live in my body." Or topics like the top thoughts that go through my mind why I sit in on meetings.

Now it could be entirely true that I may never follow up with any of what I have written, like writing more often. It is just kind of what I am feeling in the moment. I didn't even mean to write this much. Blogs are like the akward conversations where you don't know when to stop the conversation so you just keep on going. The end.

PANDORA

If you enjoy listening to music but you have not been able to purchase any new tunes as of late check out pandora. It is a one of those priceless finds on the internet. Enjoy.

MY THOUGHTS FOR THE DAY

I promised myself that I would write today. That was at noon today and it is now almost 12 hours later. Better late than never. I have had a few thoughts dominate my thinking throughout the day, one of which I will focus on in the course of my time here. This may be long because I might be staying up for awhile. I drank 2 americanos throughout the day the last sip being only a few hours ago and I just consumed a PB & J sandwhich. My body tends to react to caffeine rather dramactically since its not used to it and I hear that peanut butter can keep you up to. The first few paragraphs will be spacy and off subject but leading to what I want to write about. Bear with me.

I just purchased the new Phil Wickham album which has received praise from all of its recent purchasers so i decided to give itunes and Phil some of my money. However, the downloading process for some reason is taking unusually long and I am wondering if itunes will take my money without giving me the album I paid for. Surely. Apparently I purchased a Jason Morant EP awhile back and it didn't download at the time but seems to be slowly doing this now. Wait nevermind, I am having my doubts. Nonetheless if in the time I am writing whatever subject I am going to write on in this blog and the new tunes download then I will give you my thoughts, if not then I will let the sun go down on my anger towards the itunes store, though I will still love Apple always and forever.

Ok it just started its download. Both purchases. I'll get back to you on my thoughts. Moving on.

I sat today in Coffee Bean in the same chair, at the same table, in the same corner with the same drink in hand doing the same thing I always do in the same chair, at the same table, in the same corner, with the same drink in hand. Reading while listening to the ipod on shuffle. I like to shuffle. It is a great option. I get so overwhelmed at times with how much music I have on my ipod that I become quite indecisive as to what music will best suit the book I am reading or the mood I am in. That is why I hit the shuffle button.

I just started a new book called Dear Church: Letters from a Disillusioned Generation. It has been a good read, as the theme of the book resignates with my current thoughts and questions about the Church. I think Sarah Cunningham offers some keen incites while maintaining a balanced approach towards some of the dominant questions my generation seems to be asking about the institutional Church today. Alot of disillusioned people out there...I am one of them.

Anyways, as I was reading my mind wondered, as it usually does during an extended reading session, this one being upwards of 3 hours, the book was that intriguing. Yet, while reading, my soul became overwhelmed and moved, which may have been prompted by either a statement I had read in the book or by a song I was listening to. Both of which probably contributed to. It got me thinking on this:

Let me say, I am a romantic. I am not trying to boast about my superb abilities to sweep a girl off her feet. Not that kind of romantic. Not saying that I am not one of those. But for some reason I am a romantic in the true sense of the word. I like ideals. I like beautiful stories. I wish at times I were a Lewis and Clark, a Christopher Columbus or any of histories great explorers fictional or non-fictional alike, traveling the world treking into uncharted territories. Something in me longs to be the hero of a story where I am this warrior fighting for some worthy cause, to rescue a damsal in distress. I feel connected to the stories of men who have done such. Stories whose common theme is often portrayed by the great authors of the classic epics. Something in me feels connected to Odysseus as he sailed on his epic voyage after the Trojan Wars or to King Leonidus as he and his 300 take their stand against the army of the Persian Empire to fight for love and land. At the same time I feel connected to Maximus as he makes his stand against a corrupt emperor for the sake of a dream. Maybe all such stories are simply allegories to that which is a real story taking place in real time only unseen by our human eyes. What is this in me that stirs?

I feel like I am looking past the reality that my eyes physically see, seeing beyond the pane of cloudy glass, deemed my world, seeing something sitting beyond. It's like wondering through the wardrobe into a mystic place, a place that is real, yet, unseen. A place that truly exists, yet, sits just on the other side of what mans eye can see. It's a place where God can be seen, where a spirit of good and evil takes a real form while being a form alien to any I am familiar with. It is a place were good and evil battle for the fall of a Kingdom. Its a place that on this side of life, I am afraid, I cannot be fully invited into, yet, I know I am fully apart of.

I often find myself wanting to escape to this place just for a glimpse. I want to see through the other side of the wardrobe, in hopes of discovering a Narnia or a Middle Earth. As long as breath is in my lungs I am afraid I am kept to just a glimpse. That's ok for it will be in death that the real adventure will begin, I am sure of it. Where finally we will step onto the other side of that clouded window. Where we will at last see behind the insipiration of the stories, the poems, the lyrics, and the movies that stir something within our souls. It will be on the other side of the window that it will all make sense. It will be on the other side that we, who are heirs to The Kingdom, will see He who is the author of this eternal epic story which we were always apart of and with a smile on our face say, "O, that's why."

So with this I am done.

Phil Wickham I do recommend. If not the whole album do purchase, True Love and You're Beautiful.

SEPTEMBER UPDATE

It seems that the month of September has flown by! It is hard to believe that fall has already arrived, although Southern California has not offered many hints of its emergence, except for a few degrees of change in the temperature. I have been spoiled the last four years of my life living on the east coast where once fall hits it becomes quite apparent.

This month has been a season of preparation as I have moved into my new role as an intern at Saddleback. Currently, as I shared with you in my last update, my new responsibilities will be to mobilize our college aged ministry, known as Crave, for missions. Momentum has already gathered in Crave from this past summers global trips. However, I am realizing that it will require a lot of patience and work to continue building that momentum. Nonetheless, I am very excited about all of the opportunities before me and Crave.
It is funny, during my time in Rwanda God began to really fashion in me a heart for Europe, yes in Africa of all places. After getting back to Saddleback I began to share this passion for Europe that had over time risen up in me. After engaging in several dialogues with some of the ministry leaders at Saddleback it was apparent God had been whispering Europe in the hearts of others as well. So after a few more meetings with some of our PEACE pastors we have decided to set up a 6 - 8 week endeavor for our Crave students to trek through Europe, one of the most spiritually dark continents in the world, to do some initial ground work in preparation for future trips from Saddleback. Crave has been given a great opportunity to be some of the first from Saddleback to go into the heart of Europe to share and do the PEACE Plan with the church there.

Europe is not only one of the most spiritually dark and empty continents in the world, it is also one of the most strategic for the Church to be in. The rise of Islam is swelling in Europe as immigrants from the Middle East and North Africa are pouring in looking for jobs; consequently (or strategically) their worldview and faith are brought along. These dominantly Muslim regions of the world are very difficult for the Church to penetrate. However, God is literally bringing these least reached right into Europe’s backdoors where the Church is given much more freedom to operate, minister and reach Muslims than in their native countries.

Europe is in great need of revival! I believe we are on the fringes of a movement that will sweep through Europe. I believe that the PEACE Plan will be at least a small part of that movement. Furthermore, I believe it will be a movement lead by those both within, and without Europe who are apart of Generation Y, my generation. How timely indeed for God to open up this window for Crave, a Generation Y ministry.

Much is in the development stages not only with Global PEACE in Crave but also in local PEACE. Located in Saddlebacks backyard is one of the most influential regions in the nation comprised of Orange County and L.A. County. This region is one the epicenters in our nation that fuel America’s pop culture. If L.A. County and Orange County were shaken up by the Spirit of God by people who were willing to go and radically love and promote change then I believe America would follow in its wake. Local PEACE is simply about going into the backyards of our communities to serve, love, and speak truth into lives, seeking that God would do the transformation needed to see these lives radically impact the Kingdom.

So all of this to say, I have been given some great opportunities to work with. God has timely brought me to Saddleback to be apart of something that He has evidently put His hand on. Thus, I praise God for each of you who have chosen to support me both from a financial standpoint as well as in prayer. I am so grateful for you! My prayer for you is that God would continue to, “Supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.” I pray that you also, “Devote yourselves to prayer, staying alert in it with thanksgiving.” Blessings upon each of you and your families!

A MOVEMENT

Can you hear it?
The movement has begun.
Ripple crests into wave
Wave powers into land.
Far out to sea
It moves over the expanse
Rolling over calm
Churning silence into psalm.

Can you feel it?
The movement has begun.
An uprising in the soul
Its depths gather in fury
To flood these shallows
Leaving nothing uncovered.
Wreckage in its wake
There is no hiding from its quake.

Can you see it?
The movement has begun
Look to the horizon
Its not far now
Find your high ground.
Quick there is not much time
Hold on tight to anything near
What comes is not to fear.

Stand and listen you who doubt
A movement has begun
Unstoppable it passes
Cutting through ancient river beds
Unshaken by the babble of the skeptics.
Damned neither by their noise nor deed.

It is carried on the backs of holy cripples
A prostitute, an adulterer
The poor, the blind
The least of these.
They, recipients of a royal bloodline
Grafted into a holy tree
Believe like children
Unmarked by doubt.

Holding their torches high
Playing their flutes loud
They journey in darkness
Within the dragons gate.
Unshaken by the relic beasts
Whose power manifests in the land.
They tread along an ancient path
Guided by the divine light.

The time has come.
Rise up you ancient bones!
Rise up!
Unleash your full fury!
Wield your mighty sabors!
Do not fear!
Do not dismay!
The movement has begun!

MAROONED BY THE FALL

Stranded in the desert of the cursed
I can’t shake this dust
Covered head to toe
In the sands from this island.
Alone, I am marooned by the fall.

My eyes stay fixed to the horizon
High upon my lookout.
The rescuer has set sail
His ship on the other side of the end
Yet, my eyes grow weary the distance is to great
My rescue is far, to far to see.

Exposed to the elements
My soul is thirsty
If only I could get a sip.
What was wet has become dry
When will the rain come?
God please send the rain.

AFRICAN SUMMER - ON FAITH - PART 2

I wonder how much dwelling I have been doing? Maybe dwelling is the key to having a faith that is unhindered by logic and reason? It seems I have a faith that is walled in by my understanding of what is possible and impossible. I have a faith that is marred by a human capacity to understand. Looking in to David’s request I found that David truly wanted to hang out with God. The translation I read this from says that David wanted to dwell in the house of the Lord for a particular reason. I love the way he depicted His request. Dwell in the house. What does this really mean to dwell and furthermore to dwell in a house?

I like thinking of God just hanging out in His house, a house that is quite comfortable and easy to relax in and just lounge around. I like thinking that God has extended an informal invitation to me saying, hey son anytime you want why don’t you come and hang out with me at the house, we will sit around, get a couple drinks, talk, laugh and really get to know each other. David desired to dwell in the presence of God because He knew that God was for Him, that God’s house was a safe place to be in all the adversity of life.

I began to think on this concept of dwelling in God’s house and how in the world it applied to me and my faith, and my belief in God. Here is what I began to process. When one faces a circumstance in life that requires that individual to trust, believe and frankly exercise faith in God He has a decision to make. He can use his own logic and reason to assess the situation. He can look at the situation before him and say well according to my understanding of all the possible outcomes of this situation the one desired is quite impossible. His logic and reason has instantly killed his opportunity to truly exercise a faith unhindered by his human capacity of knowing what is possible or not. The other decision He can make is to believe that God, even in the impossibleness of the situation will come through because He is God and He is not bound by those laws that deny humanity of what can be done and not done. He can choose to have a walk on water faith that says yes Jesus I can walk on water if you ask me to come out on the water with you. Or that says yes Jesus all things are possible for you! You know what, I long to have a faith unhindered by that question in the back of my mind that says, can He really do that or is that really possible?

Here is what it comes down to, maybe it is not a question of how much faith can you muster up, as much as it is where are you spending your time? All to often we spend our time in the physical, in a place where we cannot see past what is before us, where we cannot trust in anything other than what we have control and power over. Yet, we have been invited into a secret place to dwell in a place where the one with the power to do the impossible is accessible and waiting to be displayed. When we spend much of our time away from the place that God dwells, that place where impossibility collides with possibility, that house that He has invited us to come in and dwell with Him, to gaze upon His beauty and splendor, how much harder is it for us to believe in a God that is not bound by impossibility, a God that can raise one from the finality of death or restore a soul made so ugly by sin into a beautiful masterpiece? It is when we familiarize our self with that place and the one who dwells in that place that we look upon the impossible circumstances and situations in life and say you know what I dwell in the presence of the one who can do the impossible so all things are indeed possible. No I don’t own that power but it is He who I dwell with the one that has the power to do the impossible.

With that said, the place you choose to dwell can greatly affect how you look at life and its circumstances. It will greatly affect how you trust, how you believe, it will greatly affect the faith you display. Is your faith in your own power, or is it in the power of God. We have a tendency to rely on what we are familiar with…we have a tendency to rely on what we can control. I want faith that looks at a mountain and says move. I want a faith that says ok Jesus I’ll come out and walk with you on the water in this storm. I want a faith that looks impossibility in the eyes and says with my God all things are possible. I want a faith where even as crazy as it may seem that for some reason it just makes sense because of where I have chosen to dwell and who I have chosen to dwell with.

It is difficult to put your trust in a person that you have no clue who they are or what they are about. Why would you? When we choose to come in and dwell in God’s house and hang out with Him there will be a certain level of trust that develops because we come to know Him, His heart, His power. You will look to your Father as a child and with that same child like faith know that He will come through. It won’t even cross your mind that He won’t. This is what Jesus meant when He said that we must enter the Kingdom of Heaven as small children. Only a child can enter into the kingdom. This is faith like a child. I want that. I want to be the kid that jumps off the top of that house into his dads arms below not even hesitating whether he will catch me or not.

What is a prayer without faith? It is lifeless and dead. James speaking of asking God says “But let him ask in faith without doubting. For the doubter is like the surging sea, driven and tossed by the wind.” I don’t want to doubt what seems impossible to me just because I cannot control the situation. Faith is about letting go. How hard it is to do this letting go and trusting that God is bigger and is in control.

AFRICAN SUMMER - ON FAITH - PART 1

What words are adequate to portray my summer’s journey? What can truly recapture those experiences? Honestly, nothing. You see, a picture is quite beautiful, but only if you take it in the right light and at just the right moment but done properly you can imprison an image that aids in preserving a moment for a lifetime and beyond. Indeed you can capture much in a picture but a picture you see only arouses one of the senses. You see it, but you don’t touch, smell, or taste. To recapture the journey completely would be to relive every step, every conversation, it would be to touch every head, hold every hand, and smell every smell, both pleasant and unpleasant, it would be to go back and relive every day’s adventure that forged together the whole. That one great adventure that was filled with moments of suspense, fear, victories, and yes defeats. Well if memories are now all I have and words the only way to bring you into this story then my memories are my instruments and my words my muse. I will call it, an African summer.

CHAPTER ONE
On Faith

Departing LA I left behind any and all expectations of what my 2 months in Rwanda would be. I mean I had an idea, as it was not my first time traveling overseas on this type of adventure. But in light of one of things learned thus far, it is good to walk into new experiences with little or no expectations at all. Of course I expected at least a relatively safe journey over, as well as bad plane food, and very little sleep but that’s a given for any seasoned traveler not flying in first class. I mean you always wonder or even dream but to manifest those dreams into expectations is not always the best, it leads to great disappointment. Things seem to go better when you don’t have any expectations. So that said, I walked off the plane having no clue what to expect but walking with the confident assurance that God had orchestrated all my steps thus far and would continue to do so because He loves me and promised me He would if I asked Him to do so and I did, so maybe that is one confident expectation I did walk with.

Two weeks in the no expectation thing seemed to work out and that promise of God establishing steps seemed to fall in line with my reality as well. Yet in those first two weeks I experienced my first crisis of belief followed by several more. A crisis of belief can come at any moment in life. There kind of like walking across a less than busy street then suddenly being struck by a car without you ever seeing it coming. With a crisis of belief comes in a sudden moment at a time when you least expect it, but you defiantly know when it comes because your shaken to the core by it. My crisis of belief came when I had $3,000 stolen from me. No need to go into details but I was robbed and I felt violated. I was angry and didn’t really understand. I stayed relatively cool and was able to maintain a level head but man I was then at that moment forced to say ok God if you don’t provide then what am I going to do? I felt that God assured me in that moment that He would return what was stolen from me. But days passed and even weeks and still that money was not returned. I wandered if I had truly heard God correctly when He had assured me or was I only comforting myself with my own voice in my head. Then came that crisis of belief and it came in the form of the concept of belief and faith. If Jesus spoke the words ask and it will be given. Then why when I asked was it not given in the form I expected it to be given? Why when I asked in His name was the money not returned to me. What does this whole thing ask and it will be given thing mean. Maybe I was not exercising the right amount of faith. Well that must be it. So I mustered up all the strength in me to squeeze out that little bit of extra faith required to receive my prize. Still no money. How does this work? What does it mean to have faith in the first place? What do you mean when you say if you have faith as small as a mustard seed you can move mountains? I mean come on, a mountain! And the faith I was trusting with seemed to be at least the size of an apple seed and an apple seed is heck of a lot bigger than a mustard seed. Wait I still must be doing it wrong. I seemed to make it quite complicated. I got angry and confused with myself and with God. How God can I take you at face value when you are telling me here have faith, keep your eyes on me and I am, yet you don’t come through. So I struggled through this whole mess.

Then I started to ask myself a whole other set of questions. Do I truly believe this is possible for God to restore what was stolen? I mean honestly. It would seem quite impossible to me in light of the situation that God would allow that money to magically reappear. I always like those stories of people who are truly in need of money, you know the ones in those spiritual books and the such, well the stories follow a similar pattern in that people start praying for it and then all the sudden it shows up in their mailbox the next morning mysteriously. Man I love those. But you know that stuff has never really happened to me. Why then should I believe that it would happen to me? But wait if God does impossible things really, like walking on water, or parting the red sea, or restoring site to the blind or raising people from the dead then why should I think that God could not do a miracle for me. I sometimes feel like my faith is similar to winning the lottery. I mean other people win and I see physical proof that they have won it but of course it never happens to me. I mean not that I buy the lottery tickets but you know it mean. Its like sometimes I ask God in blind faith with the full realization that God can accomplish what I am praying for yet for some reason in the back of my head I cannot rap my head around whether He really will come through, at least not the way I think He should and that kind of kills it for me.

I was reading through a chapter in Psalms through this whole process. Here is were I feel things began to make sense to me and when I realized maybe its not God’s fault but maybe it is mine. There is that passage that talks about, dwelling in the presence of God.

“I have asked one thing from the Lord; it is what I desire: to DWELL in the house of the Lord all the days of my life gazing on the beauty of the Lord and SEEKING Him in His temple.”

I mean I have probably read this passage a hundred times, well maybe not a hundred but at least 26 times. And honestly this is only one part of a passage that in its whole context deals with David worshiping God because He is His stronghold. But then one word in that whole series of words jumped out to me, DWELL. What does it mean to dwell? It is kind of a cool word once you start looking into it. What comes to mind when you think of the word dwell? David voices his heart to God…this is what I seek that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life.

GLIMPSES OF GLORY

A glimpse of glory is a real moment in time where you are invited into a present reality that will only be fully revealed in future time. Though you can easily miss them, they are all around us; you simply have to know where to be looking. These beautiful glimpses are given to depict a future reality, a glimpse of a kingdom yet to be established. They exists in this fallen world as whispers of a hope known only to those sons and daughters of the King, whispers which will, in future time, become beautiful melodies sung loud enough for all of creation to hear. They exist only as shadows passing, making up a form void of detail, yet obtaining a beauty unbecoming of any earthly shadow. It is in these shadows that a clouded reflection of magnificent beauty is seen. A beauty hindered, filtered by that smudge on a looking glass, in turn distorting its true brilliance but, nonetheless, a beauty to fallen eyes. These glimpses are often manifested in the smallest of ways, a child reborn, a breathtaking view, affection given, a utopian experience. You know, those lovely moments where something in you jumps and you feel, well, alive. They can be likened to the illusion of a mirage dancing over a sweltering desert floor. It is as if you saw something, though only for a moment, but long enough for you to second guess yourself, long enough to wonder if indeed you saw something at all, though, deep down you know you did. It is these glimpses of glory, a real instance in time given to us in those beautiful, yet, brief moments where one is invited to experience a future reality reserved for he who holds Kingdom citizenship.

DANGER AND THE OTHER STUFF THAT MAKES YOU FEEL ALIVE

Well I have not updated in awhile and thought it would be fair enough to give anyone who cares about me an update on what is currently occuring in my life. Here you go those I love and care about.

Lets see....I have been staying half way busy preparing for all of our July teams, setting up accomodations and dealing with all the logistics of having a large group of people coming overseas. But all seems to be in order so I thought I would take a few days and get away from Rwanda and head up to the bordering country of Uganda.

Buying a 5000 RWF ($10) bus ticket gets you pretty far in Africa. After a 9 hour trek me and a couple of friends I ended up meeting when I first got to Rwanda managed to get up to Kampala, the rather large capital city of Uganda. Kampala has much the same feel of any large developing world city, dirty and much pollution yet contains some of the same luxories as a large western city such as nice restaurants, decent shopping and yes modern movie theaters. I took advantage of this and we went to go see a movie. For two hours of this weekend I felt like I was back home for a night out at the movies with friends. It was a pleasant fiction for the moments it lasted. Though I found I was dissapointed with the movie it was good times.

The highlight of the trip and the reason we ended up coming to Uganda was to go white water rafting at the source of the Nile River. Yes the White Nile boasts some of the craziest and breath taking (literally, especially if you fall in) whitewater this side of the Atlantic. It was for real class 5 and 6 rapids. Class 6 is basically impassable, not in Africa though...ha. We took the day along with maybe 100 other muzungos (white people) consisting of some Brits, Irish, Scottish, Aussies, and pretty much all the great accents and hit a 30 KM stretch of the Nile. If you enjoy adventure and travel I would encourage you to put this on your top 20 list of things you need to do before you die. Indeed it holds a place in the top of my list. We had about 10 runs on on rapids varying from class 2 all the way to class 6...well almost a class 6. Falling out of the raft into insane whitewater has given me some good illustrations for future dialogues with people...like let go and let God. I don't know who said that one but i'll tell you I never felt so helpless in my life. But its a rush none the less. It was a day filled with good conversations, good laughs, breathtaking sceneary, danger, and all the stuff that makes one feel truly alive, even if for a moment. I am a blessed man, not only because I came out alive...ha...but because of the experiences God has afforded me thus far in my existence.

Be blessed today brothers and sisters. Take advantage of every oppurtunity. It could be your last. Live for the moment and love always. True aliveness is only a decision away. Live today!

If you pray and you care about me. Continue to lift me up when I come across your thoughts. Love you guys! Coming stateside in a little over three weeks! Contain your excitement.