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SEPTEMBER AND OCTOBER UPDATE

2008-11-03T15:29:00.000-08:00

Hello!

It is hard to take in the brevity of these last two years. Transition is coming very quickly in my life. Exciting, yes! Fearful, yes! To be honest it has been a challenging last two months. My internship is concluding and I have no clue what I will be doing come January. I am in place of transition where I cannot see very far ahead of me, yet it is here that I have found that the Lord has deeply ministered to me amidst the uncertainty. Yes, anxiety has come and gone but I have found solace in Paul’s words,

“Do not worry about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses every thought, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

What a magnificent promise! Again and again the Lord has confirmed that in His Word there will be rest. Indeed, I have found that rest is available for the weary, in His Word. Even as the storms of uncertainty rage all around me there is rest and peace.

But I would say at this point I am feeling more excited than any other emotion because I have a no idea what is next. That seems crazy, but I know that it is during the times of uncertainty I am most reliant upon on the Lord. Feeling the fall of uncertainty is difficult to bear when you have no faith in the One who is in the business of being intimately involved in the small details of our lives. But there is great peace knowing that one of the names my Father is known by is Provider. Indeed I have continually come to see that He is my Provider. So here I am today uncertain of the exact place that I will land but taking the steps to get to that place all the while trusting the Lord will divinely direct the process.

Currently I have re-enrolled in school at Liberty Baptist Theological Seminary to work on another Master’s degree. At this point I am certain I will work towards a Master of Divinity as I work full time, wherever that may be. However, right now I am thinking through when it will be best to start courses. It will be either this Spring or during the Summer. My hopes will be to complete this degree in a year and half where upon completion I will most likely move towards starting work on a Doctorate in missiology (Theology of missions).

Yes, my plans are to remain here in Southern California after January. I am sold. Once you move to California it is hard to leave! But really I am not being led to move away quite yet. I believe the Lord still wants me to remain here for another season or so. As I sit tight for further direction I am actively searching for a job primarily in ministry but also considering jobs outside of the church at least for a season. Right now I will go where there is provision. I will keep you informed as the process continues.

During the last six weeks of my internship I will continue to be working with the missions team here mobilizing our members to live a life on mission. I am working closely with our college ministry as well as we begin thinking through and planning for the global PEACE trips that our college students will be taking this summer. Currently we are considering taking a big group down to work with churches in the Dominican Republic where I visited a little over three weeks ago.

We have just concluded a campaign here at Saddleback called 40 Days of Love. It has been an incredible series about the relationship principles of Jesus. I would encourage you to listen to the series online at www.saddlebackfamily.com in your spare time and also to pick a copy of The Relationship Principles of Jesus by Tom Holladay, a book that the series was based off of. Incredible stuff!

How grateful I am for you! I praise God for you! Thank you for your faithfulness in supporting me through praying and sending in financial support over the course of this journey. For those who have supported me financially thank you for maintaining your financial commitments over these last two years especially during a time like we are facing in our economy now. Your gifts and sacrificial giving has been the reason I am where I am at today. I am greatly humbled and can never say thank you enough. May God continue to provide your needs according to your riches in Christ. My prayer for you is that God may fold ten times that which you have supported me with over these last two years.

AUGUST AND SEPTEMBER UPDATE

2008-09-22T13:51:00.000-07:00

It seems that the summer has quickly come and gone, as it seems to always do. Although a great benefit to living in this part of the world is that summer lasts a little longer than for the rest of the country. Something I am very grateful for. However, I have noticed that I have quickly acclimated to the weather here as even when it becomes slightly cool I am running for a jacket! Christmas in Arkansas will be a cold one this year for me!

Anyways, summers end proved to be a busy time in my life with a big outreach we do every year called Operation Backpack. During this outreach we had our members buy backpacks and fill them with school supplies. Once members brought the backpacks back we delivered the 2300 backpacks to dozens of schools and community centers around Southern California. It proved to be an incredible outreach as hundreds of young students in low income families were shown love by being given a backpack filled with school supplies for the school year. It was a great opportunity to watch the church be the church.

As summer time has come to an end Saddleback has been gearing up for the fall. We have kicked off our fall season of ministry at Saddleback with nothing more and nothing less than 40 Days of Love. 40 Days of Love is focused on teaching the relational principles Jesus taught and lived out. For the local team and myself the campaign has given us a great opportunity to mobilize Saddleback to be apart of the many local ministries our volunteers are leading. From down south of the border in Baja Mexico to the streets of Los Angeles we are encouraging people to move outside the comfort of their homes and the church building itself to put the love of Christ on display to the local community and beyond.

As of last week I found out that I will be traveling to Dominican Republic with several of Saddleback’s pastors for a three day tour of some ministries going on there. Our goal will be to see how Saddleback can get involved and partner with a group of men who are creating some community development ministries in and around Santiago. Going on this trip came as a surprise to me, so I am very grateful to be apart of this vision trip that will prayerfully result in Saddleback sending many mission teams to the Dominican Republic.

This year is going by at such a rapid pace! I cannot believe that we are only days away from October and a month away from the start of the holiday season, my favorite time of the year! This means that I am now only three months away from the completion of this two year join that I have been on. I cannot thank you enough for how much you have supported me on during this time both in helping me financially and through your support in prayers. They are always felt. I have been able to see God supply all of my needs according to my riches in Christ on all levels!

Thank you again for all that you do and for being my support through this season of life. God is good!

Please be praying for me to have wisdom, discernment, and courage as I begin looking at what is next for me after my internship concludes the first of January.

JUNE AND JULY UPDATE

2008-07-31T02:25:00.000-07:00

Hello!

Well it has been a two months since my last letter to you. I will attempt now to bring you up to date on all that have experienced over the course of these last two months and am currently doing.

It is hard to believe that it has now been exactly one year and seven months since I have moved to Southern California! This time has flown by! It does not seem that to long ago I was packing up in Northwest Arkansas preparing for my adventures out here. Looking back then I would have had no idea of all that I would experience and learn. Nonetheless it has been an incredible time made very much possible by your generous gifts and support to me both financially and through prayer. Thank you! I am so grateful to have you apart of this season of my life.

Looking now on these last two months let me fill you in what I have been doing and have experienced. Summer at Saddleback means a season when most ministries slow down, except for the mission’s team. This is our high season if you will with many people going on global P.E.A.C.E. trips and getting involved in some local P.E.A.C.E. ministries. Transitioning onto our Local Missions Team in April I spent the last part of May and the first several weeks of June creating some opportunities for Saddleback members to be involved in urban ministry in Los Angeles on Skid Row. God opened some great doors for Saddleback members to go down to Los Angeles and partner with some local churches doing some incredible ministry to the homeless. I was able to see many eyes opened and new passions develop in people as they served the least of these on Skid Row on a couple of different ministry outings. I love this!

While I was focusing my attention on local missions I was also balancing my time preparing a team of nine college and high school students for a month long P.E.A.C.E. trip to India. This had been a long five months of preparation. Thus, I was grateful when the day of our departure had come. On June 19 the team and I boarded a plane headed for Delhi, India. For some of the team this was their first time to leave the country on a missions trip! For all of us, this was our first time to India, thus, I had no idea what to expect. However, God had some amazing things in store for us.

We arrived in Delhi June 20 tired but excited to be on the ground from a long journey across the world. Our first two weeks of the trip were spent in Delhi weaving in and out of traffic to visit different ministries around the city. We spent our time working with local Hindu university students, encouraging new believers in house churches in the slums of Delhi and visiting ministries in the slums that exist to both teach work skills to young men and women as well as to teach them about Christ. This proved to be an incredible time.

Moving into our third week in India we boarded a train in Delhi and traveled north. In the North we were introduced to some young pastors, and I mean young, who would better be described as modern apostles. We partnered with these pastors in their ministry in the rural villages of the north and were able to see and experience only what could be described as the gospel stories happening right before us. We were truly apart of the New Testament Church during our time in the North of India. God is doing great and mighty things through some young men and women who are sold on making the message of the gospel known to all in the small part of the world that He has placed them in.

Our last day in the North we traveled to Nepal were we spent the day in a village tucked beneath the foothills of the Himalayas that had never heard the gospel before. We truly had no idea what to expect (the we included the young pastors who went with us). Arriving into the village we stepped out of our SUV’s, prayed, and began walking throughout the village stopping and engaging in conversation with those we came across. These conversations led to invitations into homes where once inside we were able to pull out the Jesus Film and show to the household. The Nepalese villagers welcomed us with open arms as well as the gospel that we came to proclaim. The Lord opened up a great opportunity that day for the local pastors in North India to continue the work in this village freshly introduced to the truth of the gospel. Praise the Lord!

Leaving the North after a fruitful week of ministry we headed back down to Delhi were we would spend the night and the next morning board a plane for Kashmir for a time of rest and debriefing from our three intense weeks of ministry. In Kashmir which is primarily a Muslim region, we were able to connect with a true hero of the faith who is working among the Muslims in Kashmir. We were introduced to some young men who have chosen to follow Jesus after spending their early life as Muslims. I will forever be changed by hearing these men, who many were my age, tell their stories about how they came to follow Christ. Truly amazing! Persecution is very much a part of these men’s lives. What an inspiration they were to a crew of young western Christians.

My time in India was marked with many difficulties and failures, yet, with many learning’s and victories. The Lord reminded me of the power of prayer, the powers that seek to oppose us, and the power of the gospel that we are called to unrelentingly proclaim to those around us. Indeed my team and I had quite the adventure in India. Returning home on July 19 I quickly acclimated back to life in Orange County yet I have brought home a fresh perspective on life and the ministry the Lord has called me to. Thank you for your prayers while we were there!

BUCKET LIST

2008-07-29T23:47:00.000-07:00

Ok not going to type to long. Really not going to write anything of importance. I am watching shark week on on Discovery. Man I love this channel really. It has all the best shows which includes Man vs Wild. I have realized that Bear Grylls is my hero. I think its annoying when people put Jesus as their hero. I man Jesus is worthy of hero status but he is so much more than a hero. Anyways Bear Grylls is my new hero. I just finished reading his book The Kid Who Climbed Everest. Good read. He is the youngest person to climb Everest at 23 years old. What the heck. I mean really. Quite inspiring. I have not yet added Everest to my bucket list I don't think I will just because it cost like $60,000 to climb it. First, I doubt I will ever have that much money to put into a hiking trip and second, I hate raising support. So I don't think that I will do it. However, I will definantly go trek through the Himalayas in the next 3 years, less expensive and should be pretty thrilling. I mean not as thrilling as summating the highest peak in the world but should come a close second. Does anyone want to go? Well anyways speaking of bucket lists I am now officially starting one.

1. Trek the Himalayas
2. Skydive solo
3. Purchase a round the world ticket and go for 6 months
4. Swim with a great white (I am watching Shark Week)
5. Summit the highest peaks in North America and South America
6. Trek the Andes
7. Catch a shark (I am watching Shark Week)
8. Sail the Pacific (well some of it)
9. Obtain my pilots license
10. Live on a deserted Island for two weeks
11. Save someone's life
12. Speak another language fluently

That will do it for now. More will be added later. So Bear Gyrlls is my hero. And Jesus is so much more than a hero. Amen.

BUT I CAN PRAY

2008-01-30T18:05:00.000-08:00

Work is over for the day. I thought I would stop and get caught up on finding out what is happening in this crazy world we live in. Out of all the madness going on I have been particularly interested in finding out what is taking place in Kenya. What better way of finding out the "truth" than our worlds media sources. Yes there was some sarcasm involved there.

Of course the media is just that "the media" but I have come to enjoy the reports and articles on the BBC. They do a much better job on coverage of international news than most American based media in my humble opinion. After reading through some gripping and informative articles I came across an excerpt from an article entitled "Kenya's poor at each others throats" written by BCC reporter Fergal Keane. I thought it worthy of expounding on.

Fergal at the end of the article throws in an interview he did with a woman that is experiencing the lack of stability firsthand. The excerpt reads as follows:

"In the middle of all this are families like that of Ruth Awuma. She is married with six children and a husband who cannot work due to dreadful burn injuries. A lit candle fell on his bed while he slept.

Ruth rises every day at dawn and travels to work as a maid in Nairobi, returning home every evening just in time to put her younger children to bed.

I asked what her dream was. She didn't talk about a new president or democracy. Such things seemed abstract in her dark and claustrophobic home.

"I would love a water supply in my house," she said.

But you must know that is unlikely, I said.

Ruth laughed. "But I can pray," she replied.

It was about as eloquent a statement of hope as you could hear in Kenya these days." Click here to read full article

And there we have it friends a lovely topic to write on.

Fergal tells Ruth, "You know Ruth, that dream you have of water, that probably will not happen. I don't want to be rude but seriously come back down to reality, don't get your hopes up, you must know that is not very likely for you to get a water supply in your house! That is actually crazy"

In the very face of opposition Ruth laughs, "O Fergal, indeed what are the possibilities for me to get a water supply. I would in fact be the first in the neighborhood to obtain one, but you know, I can pray. So that's what I will do, I will pray!"

Fergal with a smile nodds his head pleasantly in agreement, though knowing full well prayer is a hopeless act, "Ah, yes Ruth, indeed, you can pray."

This brought a smile to my face. I wish I could go back in this moment to be present in this conversation just so I could give Ruth a hug and say keep on praying sister. Don't give up on your dreams.

Now alot could be written here, of the faith of the Africans, of the power of prayer, of having hope in desperate times or of being optimistic in difficult circumstances all of which could be an appropriate topic to expound on from the inspiration this one statement. Maybe I will come back to one of those at another time when I have more time to write. But for now I leave here with this thought in mind, we have not because we ask not. Thanks Ruth for reminding me, keep on laughing at the odds and praying expectantly.

JANUARY UPDATE

2008-01-29T13:50:00.000-08:00

The holidays have come and gone. It is hard to believe that I have been in California for one year now! In spending some time reflecting upon this last year I am amazed at the experiences I have had as well as some of the learning’s. I do apologize indeed for not writing of the happenings in my life over the last several months. It has been a humbling, yet, refreshing season the Lord has brought me through. No need to reflect on all of the learnings in this letter. Yet, I will say that the Lord has been so faithful. I am a blessed man indeed!

During the holidays I had the opportunity to be home. For a good two weeks I was able to get away from some of the busyness and enter into an incredible time of rest. It could not have come at a better time! During these couple of weeks home my family and I traveled to Texas to celebrate Christmas in Waco with my Uncle and Aunt and cousins. It had been such a long time since we last celebrated Christmas with extended family. It was a wonderful time though! After Christmas we began to journey back up North but not without first stopping in East Texas to be with some family friends from Austin who we have known for many years. After several days of fishing, reminiscing, and resting we made the final leg of the journey back to Arkansas were I concluded my time away from California.

The time home went by quickly but I was able to get some great rest, rest that has benefited me over the last several weeks of being home. Although I was gone for only two weeks upon coming back to California I realized that it was probably one week longer than I needed to be gone since I came back to church with a large workload. Yet, it was all worth it.

So what have I been working on might you ask? Well do let me share. I believe I shared in my last update that I am now working as the P.E.A.C.E. coordinator in our college ministry, Crave. In this role my responsibility is quite simply to mobilize college aged students to be active followers of Christ in both our local community and the world. Over the last month the ministry team of Crave and myself have been working towards setting up five global P.E.A.C.E. trips for our students to travel on this summer. In the last several weeks to our joy sixty-five “Cravers” signed up to go on one of the five trips as a P.E.A.C.E. team to Rwanda, Argentina, Czech Republic, India, and Ukraine anywhere between two weeks to one month. Therefore, the last two weeks have proven busy as we have begun preparing these Crave P.E.A.C.E. teams to go global.

On top of all that is happening in Crave I have been preparing to go back to Rwanda for about a month from March 14 – April 11. Pastor Rick has been invited to launch the first nationwide 40 Days of Purpose in Rwanda, an historic and exciting event in a country still working through issues of reconciliation from the 1994 genocide. On this trip I will be leading several teams partnering with some of the local churches in Rwanda to help them get started in bringing their communities through 40 Days of Purpose. Please be praying that God would do big things in the Rwanda during their journey through 40 Days.

This next year should indeed fly by with all that will be occurring! Already it is almost the end of January. So eleven more months to go! By this time next year I have no clue as to where God will have me, which, is indeed something that I ask you to join in prayer with me about. I rest in the fact that God will reveal what that next step is, in the meantime I am focusing on the exciting year ahead I am greatly blessed by you! Thank you so much for your continued prayers and for your support!

THE SQUALL IS HERE

2008-01-25T14:08:00.000-08:00

Drop the sails!
Pull up the anchor!
Cut loose the ropes!
The squall is here!
We must get out of this harbor,
Out to the open sea!
On the depths is our safety.
(Indeed, on the depths is my freedom.)

Are you crazy!
The depths will consume us.
The storm will overpower us!
The ship cannot sail in the great squall.
Have you gone mad!
Do you not know what this cutter is made of!
We are but wood and rope!

Can you not see!
The harbor poses no safety.
The rocks are no haven.
Indeed, a vessel of wood and rope we sail upon.
Yet, this vessel was made for such a squall.
We will hold up and not break apart.
Set course for this great squall.
There we will find safety,
(There I will find my freedom.)
Indeed, in the center of the storm.

Captain to set sail would be certain death!
Can you not see we are but wood and rope!
No match for the power of wind and wave.
What will hold us together!
Have you gone mad?

Certain death?
To remain safe would be certain death!
This cutter was built by such great squalls.
To remain imprisoned in the harbor
Anchored in by rope and fear
This young lad is certain death.
Do not fear what waits.
Indeed it is great.
Trust your cutter.
Drop the sails!
The squall is here!

JUST NOT YET

2007-11-19T10:02:00.000-08:00

In between services yesterday (I went to all the services yesterday) I went to a wedding of a couple I have gotten to know over the last several months. I am glad I am not getting married anytime soon. I think the more I think about what it means to get married the more I am not ready to step into anything that could lead me to getting married. It is a committment thing.

Singleness is so great though. I feel bad for people who get into relationships for all the wrong reasons, like they just have to have someone there so they can know they are liked by someone. That's no bueno. Why not just know you are loved by Jesus so much more than anyone could ever love you? Why go looking for a pseudo love in a shallow relationship? Then you don't have to spend time talking on the phone checking in nor do you have to spend money, none at all. You don't need a phone to talk to Jesus.

I think it is silly, even on the virge of absolutely stupid when people use the phrase, "I am going to date Jesus for awhile." Seriously. Why do people say this? You must want a shallow relationship with Jesus. That's harsh. But seriously, don't say that. You could rather say, "I am going to let Jesus be the source of my affirmation and fulfillment because He gives me love, true love, not the other stuff that makes you tingle inside. His love brings me confidence, it brings me security because His love is faithful, He would never stop giving it. Even when I whore myself to the world he comes and woows me and buys me back from my captors. I don't date Jesus, Jesus is my lover, He is mine and I am His."

Its funny how after reading that last part you will be like, Shawn, that sounded kind of gay. Maybe so I mean it kind of does. But seriously why do our minds have to instantly be fixated on sexual intercourse at the sound of the word lover. Lets, for a moment, throw aside what our society has done to our minds and purely look at the word lover for how our Father sees it. Lets look at it through the lens of the relationship we were originally created to have with the Father. The word lover denotes the idea of deep seaded intimacy with another. Sex is very much apart of intimacy. But sex is only an outward or physical expression purposed to satisfy a longing within the soul of every human. A longing to be loved, to be adored, to be sought after and to be connected on a level so deep words struggle to define.

Yet, is this not the the heart of our Father, that this part of us, that longing deep with in our souls for a lover, that part of the soul which longs for intament connection, be met by Him and Him alone? For I am His and He is mine.

It is you, child, who have been chosen to be showered with His holy and untainted love and it is He who in return longs for our love, a love in process of being made perfect. Let your lover, The Lover, meet you within the longings of your soul. Long for love, but let your longings first be satisfied in Him. For in this place will you find what you are looking for. It is when you invite in the one who can satisfy will you know love and how to love in return.

All this to say. Marriage will one day be great. Just not yet.

GIVE SOME LOVE

2007-11-15T13:36:00.000-08:00

It is hard to believe! Christmas Day is only 40 days from today. Truly, this is my favorite time of the year. Eggnog, Christmas tree decorating, cold weather, watching Christmas Vacation, the seasonal tunes, the gifts, O the bliss! I mean it does not get much better than this right? For some who have not left this stage of life. Stay there as long as you can! It is a beautiful and merry time of life.

Note to the receiver: (If you are 13 years and younger stop reading here)!

For others on the fringes or who may be way on the other side of the blissfulness you know what time of year it is. It is that time to begin asking the infamous question. Yes, you know the question. That one you seem to ask with such joy and enthusiasm because no one should be a Scrooge this time a year, yet deep down hoping could be whispered out the corner of your mouth, knowing that its very words in the right persons ears could be the end of that rather large savings account you intended on not touching for another two years. Yes the days of the great asking are quickly approaching.

"So, (insert name), what do you want this year for Christmas?"

I might be making myself a little to vulnerable here. You might be thinking by this point, "Well Shawn this doesn't sound to merry and your suppost to be merry during Christmas. He must be one of the greedy ones!" Stay with me! Granted this may be the scrooge in me coming for a visit. But then again was Scrooge not created by the capitalist as a reminder to the consumer? Maybe not, Charles Dickens actually made him up, still.

I am quite astonded by how, I, over the last several years, have transitioned from a mindset of what the Christmas season has BECOME into what it SHOULD be about. Indeed, the holiday season at least for the follower of Jesus Christ, marks the beginning of the celebration of the incarnation of Jesus the Christ. However, over the centuries, I am guessing, the celebration of Christmas has evolved from a celebration of a man and the salvation He has provided into a celebration for both the capitalist and for the consumer. It has transitioned into a celebration for all to add to their collection of stuff! It is a season for the consumer in all of us to shine and for the capitalist to make a buck. Yet it is true, my mindset of what giving and receiving has been framed by both the blessing and the cures of our society, plenty. Now I know this might sound quite harsh as this observation quickly points the finger. Yet, I would say that it might not be to far away from the truth.

Some give to make themselves feel good, some give to receive, some only receive because they don't have the means to give, some give for the sake of meeting a need to those who rarely receive, while others give because they love those they give to. Who are you? I tend to be all the above with the last of these used the least. Here is a concluding thought to wrap all of this up.

Christmas is not so much about being a consumer nor is it really about being a doner. It is not about getting a gift for those who already have to meet a want nor is it about getting a gift for those who have not so that you can feel a sweet feeling. Rather Christmas is the day we can celebrate the day humanity was first loved. It is a day humanity can corporately celebrate their ability to look at others and love them whether they be a loved one or a least one. Is it not true that we can love because we were first loved? Let Christmas be a celebration of the incarnation of love in flesh and blood. Use your ability not to be a consumer this year nor a doner. Use your ability to be a lover. Let love motivate your wallet. Let love motivate the gift.

Here is one way to love this year. Visit Gospel for Asia Christmas to start giving some love!

CHRISTAMS GIFTS -- LOOK NO FURTHER

2007-11-15T10:55:00.000-08:00

Nathan George started an organization called Trade As One. You have the oppurtunity to use your spending power to change lives! Please watch this video. Visit Trade As One to start shopping!

BLOGGING THOUGHTS

2007-11-13T14:00:00.000-08:00

I think I am going to start blogging on this thing more often. There is always time to write about life and the random thoughts that filter in and out of my mind. In fact I need to. I don't even know how many people actually read any of this, except you mom and dad. Its always nice to have parental support. This blog has that same support I find strikingly simular to that received at friday night high school football games. You know, where even though you are the athlete that is not even good (in fact you don't even fall into athlete category it is more the category of, "I post pictures on myspace of an incredible tackle I made, even though it is my own team mate, (thank goodness for photoshop) so that people think that I am good at football.") you still receive the parental pat on the back and a hearty "Great job" though it sounds more like, "You looked so good sitting on the bench," and "O the way you handed out the water to the starters, yes that was so great." Anyways, thanks mom and dad for your support for the blog.

But nonetheless it will be a little more text for you to read then the typical once a month update about some extremely random, deep sounding thought of mine, that is written in such a way that invokes entirely to much confusion on your part. Those will continue to make an appearance, of course, but I hope to entertain you with even more random real life stuff, like "I just bought some new "organic" fiber to help my body detoxifies all the evil poisons that live in my body." Or topics like the top thoughts that go through my mind why I sit in on meetings.

Now it could be entirely true that I may never follow up with any of what I have written, like writing more often. It is just kind of what I am feeling in the moment. I didn't even mean to write this much. Blogs are like the akward conversations where you don't know when to stop the conversation so you just keep on going. The end.

PANDORA

2007-11-10T23:15:00.001-08:00

If you enjoy listening to music but you have not been able to purchase any new tunes as of late check out pandora. It is a one of those priceless finds on the internet. Enjoy.

MY THOUGHTS FOR THE DAY

2007-10-27T22:54:00.001-07:00

I promised myself that I would write today. That was at noon today and it is now almost 12 hours later. Better late than never. I have had a few thoughts dominate my thinking throughout the day, one of which I will focus on in the course of my time here. This may be long because I might be staying up for awhile. I drank 2 americanos throughout the day the last sip being only a few hours ago and I just consumed a PB & J sandwhich. My body tends to react to caffeine rather dramactically since its not used to it and I hear that peanut butter can keep you up to. The first few paragraphs will be spacy and off subject but leading to what I want to write about. Bear with me.

I just purchased the new Phil Wickham album which has received praise from all of its recent purchasers so i decided to give itunes and Phil some of my money. However, the downloading process for some reason is taking unusually long and I am wondering if itunes will take my money without giving me the album I paid for. Surely. Apparently I purchased a Jason Morant EP awhile back and it didn't download at the time but seems to be slowly doing this now. Wait nevermind, I am having my doubts. Nonetheless if in the time I am writing whatever subject I am going to write on in this blog and the new tunes download then I will give you my thoughts, if not then I will let the sun go down on my anger towards the itunes store, though I will still love Apple always and forever.

Ok it just started its download. Both purchases. I'll get back to you on my thoughts. Moving on.

I sat today in Coffee Bean in the same chair, at the same table, in the same corner with the same drink in hand doing the same thing I always do in the same chair, at the same table, in the same corner, with the same drink in hand. Reading while listening to the ipod on shuffle. I like to shuffle. It is a great option. I get so overwhelmed at times with how much music I have on my ipod that I become quite indecisive as to what music will best suit the book I am reading or the mood I am in. That is why I hit the shuffle button.

I just started a new book called Dear Church: Letters from a Disillusioned Generation. It has been a good read, as the theme of the book resignates with my current thoughts and questions about the Church. I think Sarah Cunningham offers some keen incites while maintaining a balanced approach towards some of the dominant questions my generation seems to be asking about the institutional Church today. Alot of disillusioned people out there...I am one of them.

Anyways, as I was reading my mind wondered, as it usually does during an extended reading session, this one being upwards of 3 hours, the book was that intriguing. Yet, while reading, my soul became overwhelmed and moved, which may have been prompted by either a statement I had read in the book or by a song I was listening to. Both of which probably contributed to. It got me thinking on this:

Let me say, I am a romantic. I am not trying to boast about my superb abilities to sweep a girl off her feet. Not that kind of romantic. Not saying that I am not one of those. But for some reason I am a romantic in the true sense of the word. I like ideals. I like beautiful stories. I wish at times I were a Lewis and Clark, a Christopher Columbus or any of histories great explorers fictional or non-fictional alike, traveling the world treking into uncharted territories. Something in me longs to be the hero of a story where I am this warrior fighting for some worthy cause, to rescue a damsal in distress. I feel connected to the stories of men who have done such. Stories whose common theme is often portrayed by the great authors of the classic epics. Something in me feels connected to Odysseus as he sailed on his epic voyage after the Trojan Wars or to King Leonidus as he and his 300 take their stand against the army of the Persian Empire to fight for love and land. At the same time I feel connected to Maximus as he makes his stand against a corrupt emperor for the sake of a dream. Maybe all such stories are simply allegories to that which is a real story taking place in real time only unseen by our human eyes. What is this in me that stirs?

I feel like I am looking past the reality that my eyes physically see, seeing beyond the pane of cloudy glass, deemed my world, seeing something sitting beyond. It's like wondering through the wardrobe into a mystic place, a place that is real, yet, unseen. A place that truly exists, yet, sits just on the other side of what mans eye can see. It's a place where God can be seen, where a spirit of good and evil takes a real form while being a form alien to any I am familiar with. It is a place were good and evil battle for the fall of a Kingdom. Its a place that on this side of life, I am afraid, I cannot be fully invited into, yet, I know I am fully apart of.

I often find myself wanting to escape to this place just for a glimpse. I want to see through the other side of the wardrobe, in hopes of discovering a Narnia or a Middle Earth. As long as breath is in my lungs I am afraid I am kept to just a glimpse. That's ok for it will be in death that the real adventure will begin, I am sure of it. Where finally we will step onto the other side of that clouded window. Where we will at last see behind the insipiration of the stories, the poems, the lyrics, and the movies that stir something within our souls. It will be on the other side of the window that it will all make sense. It will be on the other side that we, who are heirs to The Kingdom, will see He who is the author of this eternal epic story which we were always apart of and with a smile on our face say, "O, that's why."

So with this I am done.

Phil Wickham I do recommend. If not the whole album do purchase, True Love and You're Beautiful.

SEPTEMBER UPDATE

2007-10-03T16:06:00.000-07:00

It seems that the month of September has flown by! It is hard to believe that fall has already arrived, although Southern California has not offered many hints of its emergence, except for a few degrees of change in the temperature. I have been spoiled the last four years of my life living on the east coast where once fall hits it becomes quite apparent.

This month has been a season of preparation as I have moved into my new role as an intern at Saddleback. Currently, as I shared with you in my last update, my new responsibilities will be to mobilize our college aged ministry, known as Crave, for missions. Momentum has already gathered in Crave from this past summers global trips. However, I am realizing that it will require a lot of patience and work to continue building that momentum. Nonetheless, I am very excited about all of the opportunities before me and Crave.
It is funny, during my time in Rwanda God began to really fashion in me a heart for Europe, yes in Africa of all places. After getting back to Saddleback I began to share this passion for Europe that had over time risen up in me. After engaging in several dialogues with some of the ministry leaders at Saddleback it was apparent God had been whispering Europe in the hearts of others as well. So after a few more meetings with some of our PEACE pastors we have decided to set up a 6 - 8 week endeavor for our Crave students to trek through Europe, one of the most spiritually dark continents in the world, to do some initial ground work in preparation for future trips from Saddleback. Crave has been given a great opportunity to be some of the first from Saddleback to go into the heart of Europe to share and do the PEACE Plan with the church there.

Europe is not only one of the most spiritually dark and empty continents in the world, it is also one of the most strategic for the Church to be in. The rise of Islam is swelling in Europe as immigrants from the Middle East and North Africa are pouring in looking for jobs; consequently (or strategically) their worldview and faith are brought along. These dominantly Muslim regions of the world are very difficult for the Church to penetrate. However, God is literally bringing these least reached right into Europe’s backdoors where the Church is given much more freedom to operate, minister and reach Muslims than in their native countries.

Europe is in great need of revival! I believe we are on the fringes of a movement that will sweep through Europe. I believe that the PEACE Plan will be at least a small part of that movement. Furthermore, I believe it will be a movement lead by those both within, and without Europe who are apart of Generation Y, my generation. How timely indeed for God to open up this window for Crave, a Generation Y ministry.

Much is in the development stages not only with Global PEACE in Crave but also in local PEACE. Located in Saddlebacks backyard is one of the most influential regions in the nation comprised of Orange County and L.A. County. This region is one the epicenters in our nation that fuel America’s pop culture. If L.A. County and Orange County were shaken up by the Spirit of God by people who were willing to go and radically love and promote change then I believe America would follow in its wake. Local PEACE is simply about going into the backyards of our communities to serve, love, and speak truth into lives, seeking that God would do the transformation needed to see these lives radically impact the Kingdom.

So all of this to say, I have been given some great opportunities to work with. God has timely brought me to Saddleback to be apart of something that He has evidently put His hand on. Thus, I praise God for each of you who have chosen to support me both from a financial standpoint as well as in prayer. I am so grateful for you! My prayer for you is that God would continue to, “Supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.” I pray that you also, “Devote yourselves to prayer, staying alert in it with thanksgiving.” Blessings upon each of you and your families!

A MOVEMENT

2007-09-15T02:05:00.001-07:00

Can you hear it?
The movement has begun.
Ripple crests into wave
Wave powers into land.
Far out to sea
It moves over the expanse
Rolling over calm
Churning silence into psalm.

Can you feel it?
The movement has begun.
An uprising in the soul
Its depths gather in fury
To flood these shallows
Leaving nothing uncovered.
Wreckage in its wake
There is no hiding from its quake.

Can you see it?
The movement has begun
Look to the horizon
Its not far now
Find your high ground.
Quick there is not much time
Hold on tight to anything near
What comes is not to fear.

Stand and listen you who doubt
A movement has begun
Unstoppable it passes
Cutting through ancient river beds
Unshaken by the babble of the skeptics.
Damned neither by their noise nor deed.

It is carried on the backs of holy cripples
A prostitute, an adulterer
The poor, the blind
The least of these.
They, recipients of a royal bloodline
Grafted into a holy tree
Believe like children
Unmarked by doubt.

Holding their torches high
Playing their flutes loud
They journey in darkness
Within the dragons gate.
Unshaken by the relic beasts
Whose power manifests in the land.
They tread along an ancient path
Guided by the divine light.

The time has come.
Rise up you ancient bones!
Rise up!
Unleash your full fury!
Wield your mighty sabors!
Do not fear!
Do not dismay!
The movement has begun!

MAROONED BY THE FALL

2007-08-20T15:25:00.001-07:00

Stranded in the desert of the cursed
I can’t shake this dust
Covered head to toe
In the sands from this island.
Alone, I am marooned by the fall.

My eyes stay fixed to the horizon
High upon my lookout.
The rescuer has set sail
His ship on the other side of the end
Yet, my eyes grow weary the distance is to great
My rescue is far, to far to see.

Exposed to the elements
My soul is thirsty
If only I could get a sip.
What was wet has become dry
When will the rain come?
God please send the rain.

AFRICAN SUMMER - ON FAITH - PART 2

2007-08-17T11:09:00.001-07:00

I wonder how much dwelling I have been doing? Maybe dwelling is the key to having a faith that is unhindered by logic and reason? It seems I have a faith that is walled in by my understanding of what is possible and impossible. I have a faith that is marred by a human capacity to understand. Looking in to David’s request I found that David truly wanted to hang out with God. The translation I read this from says that David wanted to dwell in the house of the Lord for a particular reason. I love the way he depicted His request. Dwell in the house. What does this really mean to dwell and furthermore to dwell in a house?

I like thinking of God just hanging out in His house, a house that is quite comfortable and easy to relax in and just lounge around. I like thinking that God has extended an informal invitation to me saying, hey son anytime you want why don’t you come and hang out with me at the house, we will sit around, get a couple drinks, talk, laugh and really get to know each other. David desired to dwell in the presence of God because He knew that God was for Him, that God’s house was a safe place to be in all the adversity of life.

I began to think on this concept of dwelling in God’s house and how in the world it applied to me and my faith, and my belief in God. Here is what I began to process. When one faces a circumstance in life that requires that individual to trust, believe and frankly exercise faith in God He has a decision to make. He can use his own logic and reason to assess the situation. He can look at the situation before him and say well according to my understanding of all the possible outcomes of this situation the one desired is quite impossible. His logic and reason has instantly killed his opportunity to truly exercise a faith unhindered by his human capacity of knowing what is possible or not. The other decision He can make is to believe that God, even in the impossibleness of the situation will come through because He is God and He is not bound by those laws that deny humanity of what can be done and not done. He can choose to have a walk on water faith that says yes Jesus I can walk on water if you ask me to come out on the water with you. Or that says yes Jesus all things are possible for you! You know what, I long to have a faith unhindered by that question in the back of my mind that says, can He really do that or is that really possible?

Here is what it comes down to, maybe it is not a question of how much faith can you muster up, as much as it is where are you spending your time? All to often we spend our time in the physical, in a place where we cannot see past what is before us, where we cannot trust in anything other than what we have control and power over. Yet, we have been invited into a secret place to dwell in a place where the one with the power to do the impossible is accessible and waiting to be displayed. When we spend much of our time away from the place that God dwells, that place where impossibility collides with possibility, that house that He has invited us to come in and dwell with Him, to gaze upon His beauty and splendor, how much harder is it for us to believe in a God that is not bound by impossibility, a God that can raise one from the finality of death or restore a soul made so ugly by sin into a beautiful masterpiece? It is when we familiarize our self with that place and the one who dwells in that place that we look upon the impossible circumstances and situations in life and say you know what I dwell in the presence of the one who can do the impossible so all things are indeed possible. No I don’t own that power but it is He who I dwell with the one that has the power to do the impossible.

With that said, the place you choose to dwell can greatly affect how you look at life and its circumstances. It will greatly affect how you trust, how you believe, it will greatly affect the faith you display. Is your faith in your own power, or is it in the power of God. We have a tendency to rely on what we are familiar with…we have a tendency to rely on what we can control. I want faith that looks at a mountain and says move. I want a faith that says ok Jesus I’ll come out and walk with you on the water in this storm. I want a faith that looks impossibility in the eyes and says with my God all things are possible. I want a faith where even as crazy as it may seem that for some reason it just makes sense because of where I have chosen to dwell and who I have chosen to dwell with.

It is difficult to put your trust in a person that you have no clue who they are or what they are about. Why would you? When we choose to come in and dwell in God’s house and hang out with Him there will be a certain level of trust that develops because we come to know Him, His heart, His power. You will look to your Father as a child and with that same child like faith know that He will come through. It won’t even cross your mind that He won’t. This is what Jesus meant when He said that we must enter the Kingdom of Heaven as small children. Only a child can enter into the kingdom. This is faith like a child. I want that. I want to be the kid that jumps off the top of that house into his dads arms below not even hesitating whether he will catch me or not.

What is a prayer without faith? It is lifeless and dead. James speaking of asking God says “But let him ask in faith without doubting. For the doubter is like the surging sea, driven and tossed by the wind.” I don’t want to doubt what seems impossible to me just because I cannot control the situation. Faith is about letting go. How hard it is to do this letting go and trusting that God is bigger and is in control.

AFRICAN SUMMER - ON FAITH - PART 1

2007-08-17T11:08:00.000-07:00

What words are adequate to portray my summer’s journey? What can truly recapture those experiences? Honestly, nothing. You see, a picture is quite beautiful, but only if you take it in the right light and at just the right moment but done properly you can imprison an image that aids in preserving a moment for a lifetime and beyond. Indeed you can capture much in a picture but a picture you see only arouses one of the senses. You see it, but you don’t touch, smell, or taste. To recapture the journey completely would be to relive every step, every conversation, it would be to touch every head, hold every hand, and smell every smell, both pleasant and unpleasant, it would be to go back and relive every day’s adventure that forged together the whole. That one great adventure that was filled with moments of suspense, fear, victories, and yes defeats. Well if memories are now all I have and words the only way to bring you into this story then my memories are my instruments and my words my muse. I will call it, an African summer.

CHAPTER ONE
On Faith

Departing LA I left behind any and all expectations of what my 2 months in Rwanda would be. I mean I had an idea, as it was not my first time traveling overseas on this type of adventure. But in light of one of things learned thus far, it is good to walk into new experiences with little or no expectations at all. Of course I expected at least a relatively safe journey over, as well as bad plane food, and very little sleep but that’s a given for any seasoned traveler not flying in first class. I mean you always wonder or even dream but to manifest those dreams into expectations is not always the best, it leads to great disappointment. Things seem to go better when you don’t have any expectations. So that said, I walked off the plane having no clue what to expect but walking with the confident assurance that God had orchestrated all my steps thus far and would continue to do so because He loves me and promised me He would if I asked Him to do so and I did, so maybe that is one confident expectation I did walk with.

Two weeks in the no expectation thing seemed to work out and that promise of God establishing steps seemed to fall in line with my reality as well. Yet in those first two weeks I experienced my first crisis of belief followed by several more. A crisis of belief can come at any moment in life. There kind of like walking across a less than busy street then suddenly being struck by a car without you ever seeing it coming. With a crisis of belief comes in a sudden moment at a time when you least expect it, but you defiantly know when it comes because your shaken to the core by it. My crisis of belief came when I had $3,000 stolen from me. No need to go into details but I was robbed and I felt violated. I was angry and didn’t really understand. I stayed relatively cool and was able to maintain a level head but man I was then at that moment forced to say ok God if you don’t provide then what am I going to do? I felt that God assured me in that moment that He would return what was stolen from me. But days passed and even weeks and still that money was not returned. I wandered if I had truly heard God correctly when He had assured me or was I only comforting myself with my own voice in my head. Then came that crisis of belief and it came in the form of the concept of belief and faith. If Jesus spoke the words ask and it will be given. Then why when I asked was it not given in the form I expected it to be given? Why when I asked in His name was the money not returned to me. What does this whole thing ask and it will be given thing mean. Maybe I was not exercising the right amount of faith. Well that must be it. So I mustered up all the strength in me to squeeze out that little bit of extra faith required to receive my prize. Still no money. How does this work? What does it mean to have faith in the first place? What do you mean when you say if you have faith as small as a mustard seed you can move mountains? I mean come on, a mountain! And the faith I was trusting with seemed to be at least the size of an apple seed and an apple seed is heck of a lot bigger than a mustard seed. Wait I still must be doing it wrong. I seemed to make it quite complicated. I got angry and confused with myself and with God. How God can I take you at face value when you are telling me here have faith, keep your eyes on me and I am, yet you don’t come through. So I struggled through this whole mess.

Then I started to ask myself a whole other set of questions. Do I truly believe this is possible for God to restore what was stolen? I mean honestly. It would seem quite impossible to me in light of the situation that God would allow that money to magically reappear. I always like those stories of people who are truly in need of money, you know the ones in those spiritual books and the such, well the stories follow a similar pattern in that people start praying for it and then all the sudden it shows up in their mailbox the next morning mysteriously. Man I love those. But you know that stuff has never really happened to me. Why then should I believe that it would happen to me? But wait if God does impossible things really, like walking on water, or parting the red sea, or restoring site to the blind or raising people from the dead then why should I think that God could not do a miracle for me. I sometimes feel like my faith is similar to winning the lottery. I mean other people win and I see physical proof that they have won it but of course it never happens to me. I mean not that I buy the lottery tickets but you know it mean. Its like sometimes I ask God in blind faith with the full realization that God can accomplish what I am praying for yet for some reason in the back of my head I cannot rap my head around whether He really will come through, at least not the way I think He should and that kind of kills it for me.

I was reading through a chapter in Psalms through this whole process. Here is were I feel things began to make sense to me and when I realized maybe its not God’s fault but maybe it is mine. There is that passage that talks about, dwelling in the presence of God.

“I have asked one thing from the Lord; it is what I desire: to DWELL in the house of the Lord all the days of my life gazing on the beauty of the Lord and SEEKING Him in His temple.”

I mean I have probably read this passage a hundred times, well maybe not a hundred but at least 26 times. And honestly this is only one part of a passage that in its whole context deals with David worshiping God because He is His stronghold. But then one word in that whole series of words jumped out to me, DWELL. What does it mean to dwell? It is kind of a cool word once you start looking into it. What comes to mind when you think of the word dwell? David voices his heart to God…this is what I seek that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life.

GLIMPSES OF GLORY

2007-07-15T10:22:00.000-07:00

A glimpse of glory is a real moment in time where you are invited into a present reality that will only be fully revealed in future time. Though you can easily miss them, they are all around us; you simply have to know where to be looking. These beautiful glimpses are given to depict a future reality, a glimpse of a kingdom yet to be established. They exists in this fallen world as whispers of a hope known only to those sons and daughters of the King, whispers which will, in future time, become beautiful melodies sung loud enough for all of creation to hear. They exist only as shadows passing, making up a form void of detail, yet obtaining a beauty unbecoming of any earthly shadow. It is in these shadows that a clouded reflection of magnificent beauty is seen. A beauty hindered, filtered by that smudge on a looking glass, in turn distorting its true brilliance but, nonetheless, a beauty to fallen eyes. These glimpses are often manifested in the smallest of ways, a child reborn, a breathtaking view, affection given, a utopian experience. You know, those lovely moments where something in you jumps and you feel, well, alive. They can be likened to the illusion of a mirage dancing over a sweltering desert floor. It is as if you saw something, though only for a moment, but long enough for you to second guess yourself, long enough to wonder if indeed you saw something at all, though, deep down you know you did. It is these glimpses of glory, a real instance in time given to us in those beautiful, yet, brief moments where one is invited to experience a future reality reserved for he who holds Kingdom citizenship.

DANGER AND THE OTHER STUFF THAT MAKES YOU FEEL ALIVE

2007-07-09T03:19:00.000-07:00

Well I have not updated in awhile and thought it would be fair enough to give anyone who cares about me an update on what is currently occuring in my life. Here you go those I love and care about.

Lets see....I have been staying half way busy preparing for all of our July teams, setting up accomodations and dealing with all the logistics of having a large group of people coming overseas. But all seems to be in order so I thought I would take a few days and get away from Rwanda and head up to the bordering country of Uganda.

Buying a 5000 RWF ($10) bus ticket gets you pretty far in Africa. After a 9 hour trek me and a couple of friends I ended up meeting when I first got to Rwanda managed to get up to Kampala, the rather large capital city of Uganda. Kampala has much the same feel of any large developing world city, dirty and much pollution yet contains some of the same luxories as a large western city such as nice restaurants, decent shopping and yes modern movie theaters. I took advantage of this and we went to go see a movie. For two hours of this weekend I felt like I was back home for a night out at the movies with friends. It was a pleasant fiction for the moments it lasted. Though I found I was dissapointed with the movie it was good times.

The highlight of the trip and the reason we ended up coming to Uganda was to go white water rafting at the source of the Nile River. Yes the White Nile boasts some of the craziest and breath taking (literally, especially if you fall in) whitewater this side of the Atlantic. It was for real class 5 and 6 rapids. Class 6 is basically impassable, not in Africa though...ha. We took the day along with maybe 100 other muzungos (white people) consisting of some Brits, Irish, Scottish, Aussies, and pretty much all the great accents and hit a 30 KM stretch of the Nile. If you enjoy adventure and travel I would encourage you to put this on your top 20 list of things you need to do before you die. Indeed it holds a place in the top of my list. We had about 10 runs on on rapids varying from class 2 all the way to class 6...well almost a class 6. Falling out of the raft into insane whitewater has given me some good illustrations for future dialogues with people...like let go and let God. I don't know who said that one but i'll tell you I never felt so helpless in my life. But its a rush none the less. It was a day filled with good conversations, good laughs, breathtaking sceneary, danger, and all the stuff that makes one feel truly alive, even if for a moment. I am a blessed man, not only because I came out alive...ha...but because of the experiences God has afforded me thus far in my existence.

Be blessed today brothers and sisters. Take advantage of every oppurtunity. It could be your last. Live for the moment and love always. True aliveness is only a decision away. Live today!

If you pray and you care about me. Continue to lift me up when I come across your thoughts. Love you guys! Coming stateside in a little over three weeks! Contain your excitement.

ASSESSING GLOBAL GIANTS

2007-06-08T03:02:00.000-07:00

Greetings,

It is noon and me and the team are in a local internet cafe. I thought I would write briefly and let everyone know that all is well. I am healthy and blessed to be partnering with an amazing church. God has given me and the team amazing opportunities to meet with local governments, school faculty, and church leadership. We are here to assess some of the needs and "global giants" in the communities here. The effects of the genocide are still evident 13 years later. Through the raping and killing many in the community we are in ministering are widows, orphans, and HIV positive. Thus an amazing opportunity exists for the church to minister to these. The team and myself feel very much like the Apostle Paul on his visits to the churches he planted. We have been able to offer great encouragement and build lasting relationships with some incredible people. This is all that time permits me to write now. More to come when I am give a little bit more time. Continue to pray on!

37,000 Feet

2007-06-04T12:00:00.000-07:00

It is early Monday morning as we are cruising at an altitude of 37,000 at 561 mph over the skies of the Sahara Desert. It is funny now to think that we left from Los Angeles Saturday evening. My days have not been days but just what seems like one never ending day. I have seen two sunrises in 12 hours, something here does not seem right, at least this is what my body is telling me. O the joys of flying to Africa!

Well from LA we jumped on a plane to London and had an uneventful trip over. I think I like London, even though I experienced it from Heathrow, which is not to appealing yet I wish we could have been there a bit longer, lots of cute girls with accents. Ha. I know wrong motivation! Haha. However, as soon as we arrived we departed from London yesterday afternoon and continue to press onward to Nairobi, Kenya from where we will make our final connection to the destination, Kigali, Rwanda. This has no doubt been the longest travel experience I have ever had! I am going on maybe an hour of total sleep on two back-to-back overnight international flights with 24 hours under my belt so far and 10 to go! Praise the Lord for in flight entertainment and a good book! I am defiantly feeling the exhaustion setting in at this moment but I am realizing that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

It still has not hit me that I am going to be in Rwanda for two months. Right now that seems like such a long time, though I realize it will pass quite quickly, I am met by mixed emotions. I am indeed excited about the opportunity before me, yet. I am feeling; well I cannot right put it into words. However, I do know that I have met this opportunity by no accident. God has placed me out here for this specific time in history and for a specific purpose.

My eyes are heavy now. My body is feeling good, just so physically exhausted. You have got to be in shape for these trips! I think a twenty-minute power nap will give me enough energy to get me through Nairobi, maybe! I will be keeping you posted!

2 hours until a break from the air!

HAIR UPDATE

2007-05-30T13:28:00.000-07:00

The summer cut. Well my hair is now gone. I think I like this.

A WORLD GONE MAD

2007-05-27T15:54:00.001-07:00

I am leaving for Rwanda soon. Two months I will be gone in a new culture amongst a whole other people I am quite unfamiliar with though experienced from afar. I am as ready as you can be. I am blessed to experience what I will be experiencing, though even that as of this moment is uncertain. Fearful, not really, more so simply anxious to jump in.

Africa. What comes to mind. Well for me I think of one word, huge. Huge for more than the obvious fact that it is the largets continent in the world. I think of the huge and quite overwhelming humanitarian crises affecting the large majority of the continent. I think of the huge diseases killing off entire villages and regions, malaria and HIV/AIDS only to name two. I think of the huge numbers of people who go days on end without a meal to fill their stomachs. I think of the huge numbers of those who are daily affected by corrupt leadership. I think of the huge numbers of those who have not been afforded a basic education. And then I think what in the world can I ever do to make even a dent in any one of these huge crises.

I would not say I am realist, I fall much more in favor of being an optimist. Yet I face moments where it is hard to look in the face of these giants slaying millions upon millions without saying we don't stand a chance. However, these are only moments. God has entrusted me with such a great responsibility as he has with all who are playing an active role in taking on these giants affecting humanity, to not back down. Backing down would be to promote injustice. I have been called as has the church of Jesus Christ to act upon the heart of God, to love. To forsake, the widow, the orphan, the poor, the destitute and the sick both spiritually and physically would be to forsake the heart of God.

In Proverbs 31 King Lemuel writes, reminding himself of what he was taught as a child.

"Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves,
for the rights of all who are destitute.
Speak up and judge fairly;
defend the rights of the poor and needy."

Indeed Lemuel was a king in his day. He was a minister of God, as are all of those who have been entrusted in government positions, to administer justice. It would be easy to write this off and say well I am not a king or a judge. Indeed. Yet, are we not all kings in a certain right? At creation God entrusted humanity with the responsbility of ruling over all creation (Genesis 1). I would take this to include you and me not matter what position the world may categorizes you in. All sons and daughters of God are ministers, little kings in service to our King. All sons and daughters of God follower of Christ or not. For he uses even the most wicked to carry out his purposes in the world.

Yet more so, as followers of Christ, we have been entrusted to uphold His decrees, His commands, and His heart in a world horribly gone wrong. In a world in whom all have been infected by a global killer present from the first age to the present, sin. Part of our responsibility as followers of Christ is to be those defenders for the destitute, the poor, and the needy. We are to be a voice. Yet more than a voice, we are to be ministers driven by love. Love is the root from which all action must grow. Why do I choose to act? Why do I choose to go against impossible odds and take on these global giants? Because I am a minister of God who has been called to love.

Thus, Africa what can I do?

I can go.

I can act.

I can love.

And hopefully in those moments God gives me there I can make an impact on one community or even just one person whom God will raise up to embrace God's destiny for their lives. Change occurs when people rise up and embrace what God destined them to be. It is destiny not earned but destiny given. When people discover what their real purpose in life is, their unique destiny, the world will be shaken. This may take a lifetime for some. But in its discovery, life, true aliveness will be experienced. Our unique purposes and destinies in life each serve a higher cause and purpose. They fit together into a giant mosaic to create one beautiful picture, one beautiful outcome.

Do not sit idol in this world gone mad. Embrace your destiny and become. Be a minister of action driven by love.

A VOYAGE

2007-05-22T18:10:00.000-07:00

Weary and broken
Parched by a familiar thirst
This voyage has left you awoken.
Though your heart feels as if it will burst
You must jump in headfirst.

Stop and do not move.
Breath in this moment, now in this second
What do you have to prove?
Your soul has been beckoned.
The time has come to be reckoned

Have you forgot?
If you stay numb
Your heart will rot.
Leave this slum
Humble yourself and succumb.

The ship you sailed is broken.
It’s ok to not understand
But don’t be fooled He has spoken.
He has issued the command,
You are not far from dry land.

Mighty winds have kept your sails low
Trust, you are in good hands.
Fall and let go
Though you feel He misunderstands.
Look, in the distance are the sands.

REST

2007-05-21T16:54:00.000-07:00

A common theme of life we can all relate with is difficulty. Life is hard. We all face certain demands manifested in a varity of ways. We get stuck in routines that for the most part drain us more than they bring rest to the soul. We face tough circumstances and are faced with the demands of making difficult decisions. We forget to hydrate ourselves as we walk through the dry deserts life often brings us through. We lose our bearings and navigating these deserts becomes quite difficult. This takes such a heavy toll on our souls. Our hearts become pressed and restlessness enters in. We fantsize of rest and peace, yet, for some reason we forget how to obtain it.

Rest. O the beauty of rest. How we long for it. I am not simply refering to the rest of our physical bodies but the rest of our soul which I have found brings even physical rest. When was the last time you experienced this kind of rest? God brought me to a place of rest this last weekend. What a gift it was.

I went to San Antonio to be apart of the wedding of one of my closest friends. Wednesday I departed from Orange County and went back to a familiar place, the place of my upbringing, the Texas Hill Country. I saw old friends yet was able to meet new ones. Leaving California I asked my Father to let this weekend simply be a weekend of rest. I found that rest there in Central Texas. Finding and experiencing that rest did not necessarily involve secluding myself but by being around a community of people who love me and I them. I was able to leave behind the tail end of some of the battles I have been walking through here in California, that have indeed taken there toll upon my heart. I was able to simply be removed for at least a weekend. Through beautiful conversations and God orchestrated moments I found rest in my soul. Praise God!

Rest comes in a variety of ways. It may mean turning off your cell phone or ceasing from checking email just to remove yourself, even for a moment, from some of the demands in life. This is good and well needed. I have been reminded through this weekend that even in the battles and difficulties that life can bring before me that removing myself, not out of neglegence but simply out of necessity rest will come and enable me to better navigate through the deserts.

Remove yourself, stop and enjoy the beautiful moments that our Father will bring us into if only we will allow him to do so.

Beautiful rest come and breathe life into this weary soul!

A CONVERSTATION WITH GRACE

2007-05-10T12:16:00.000-07:00

Beautiful redemption,
Have you come to rescue me? My chains held me tight at past dusk. The night was long and dark. I remember crying out to you, though even this seems so distant. Yet, my wrists bare only the scars of my captivity. My mind is restored to its youthful innocence. I awoke in the beauty of your peace my chains left undone. Yes sweet redemption it was you! It is only you who gives me that which I cannot obtain. It is you who pull me up. It is you who lift me out of the pit of my despair.

Son,
You stood last night stuck in between a decision. In the moment of your choosing I cried out to you, yet you chose to harden your heart. You chose to drink from that beautifully disguised cup of ashes. As you lifted the cup to your lips those familiar chains quickly wrapped themselves around your arms. It was to late. A moments anger filled me. I asked, "Why, why does he keep rejecting the invitation to my banqueting table over a cup of ashes!?" Yet, it was only a moment. I cannot quickly forget the price that was paid to release those bonds that entrapped you. A moment later you cried out in the realization that your decision led to your captivity. I came to you, clothed you, unchained your arms, and filled you with the peace of forgiveness. Child it is true your sin has been blotted out. You are forgiven!

ORIGINS

2007-05-04T13:41:00.000-07:00

I headed up to Pasadena, CA Monday through Wednesday this week for a Church Leadership Conference. It was an incredible time to hang out and have fun with some of the other interns at Saddleback and our leaders as well as learn from an incredible church community doing some amazing things in the Los Angelos area.

Annie and Me at Starbucks
Jesus served us our coffee Tuesday morning

Went to see the Dodgers Tuesday night

Annie and Elizabeth at Dodger Stadium

The crew at the 7th stretch

IN THE NAME OF LOVE

2007-05-03T10:42:00.000-07:00

I am guilty.

I have lost my bearings amidst what can become the task filled world of the church.

I am wrestling with not making ministry a task but rather a service driven by love.

I have allowed myself to tread down a path that has lead me to activiate a wrong perspective of what it is to be a part of the body of Christ. What does it mean to be an active member or part of the body of Christ? Do not be confused by apart and a part. Indeed I am apart of the body of Christ yet I am also an active part. The former recognizes ones membership in the orginization while the latter indicates ones role in the orginization. Thus I am not focusing here on what it means to be apart but a part. Indeed I am a member, a part, a piece of the body of Christ. Each part has a symphonic role that when working with the whole compliments all the roles resulting in beautiful and unique compositions of love. This is the body of Christ, individual musicians commissioned to play according to their unique giftedness as a unified symphony.

The Lord has helped me discover a sobering reality. I am not being an active part operating effectively for the whole. If one part is not working well then the whole will not operate to its fullest potential. What am I talking about then, where does this task thing enter into the picture?

I have a tendency to make ministry the accomplishment of a series of tasks and not well, ministry. To be doing ministry to me is simply loving on those who need to be loved. I have discovered this to be the greatest difficulty I face in full time ministry. I have allowed myself to sit and accomplish a series of tasks that indeed contribute to the overall ministry of my church community to the outside community. Yet, by doing this I excuse myself from personally ministering to that outside community. I sit behind the ministry helping equip it to minister effectively, yet I am not out doing that ministry. I in turn develop an excuse to doing nothing at all. I believe there is a difference between contributing to the administration of the ministry of the whole and ministering along with the whole. Indeed the administration part is needed, yet for that to become the only part of the ministry that you involve yourself in you qucikly forget what ministering is all about.

Ministry is more than sitting in the office, going to meetings, writing out strategies, doing things, etc. These are only tasks that left to themselves can blindly be substitued for doing the action of service driven by love. No you are not doing the ministry, you are in essence simply planning the action of the ministry. I see ministry as an action that takes away the attention of serving your own needs and focuses them on serving the needs of those in need.

I have already been and will probably forever be labled as a minister of the gospel, simply because I will be in a leadership role at the church. I can't get around it this is just how things are. However, I am beginning to conclude that I don't really like this label, minister.

I often chuckle inside when I hear the phrase, "Well this is my ministry," as that individual sits down folding letters for one of the churches ministries. I hear all the time, "I am in the ministry", or "I am a minister", or "I did ministry this weekend." I am realizing that I am getting sick of this word. Maybe because I am not seeing the heart of what ministry is by those who say that they are doing it, this especially includes myself, especially.

What does it mean to minister, to do ministry, or to be ministering. Is folding a letter ministry? Is counting a tithe ministry? More generically is volunterring your time and accomplishing a task ministy? Part of me wants to think not. I tend to think of ministry as for example spending time with the poor or one infected with HIV, feeding the homeless, or taking an under priviliged kid to an Angels or Ducks game. I would like to think that ministry is serving the needs of others both inside and outside of your church community driven by nothing more than love.

The word ministry in its truest form is simply an act of service. Thus, another part of me recognizes that ministry is nothing more than service and indeed folding a letter for a certain ministry, counting the tithes, or shuttling people from the parking lot to the worship center is ministry. It is a place to serve. Anyone can serve, yet here is where the dilema I seem to be facing surfaces. What is driving you to do this service, what is the heart of it? Is this service accomplished to simply get something done, or to make yourself feel good or are you doing it with a heart that centers itself on a selfless love. For the heart of true service is nothing more than love. Serving is laying down your needs and acting into anothers needs, whatever it may be. Both outside and within the walls of the church there exists a hundred different oppurtunities to serve desperate needs in the name of love and in the name of Jesus Christ. I think what it comes down to is that I am not on the frontlines of service, doing those service projects that affect people in big ways.

Let us move beyond our walls. Let our blind eyes have their site restored to the needs amoungnst us. Let us dive into action driven by love.

HOME IS WHERE THE HEART IS

2007-05-03T10:01:00.000-07:00

The last several days have been refreshing. I had the chance to return home for a brief...very brief visit to be in the wedding of a close friend. My time home served me in three ways...great sleep on my wonderful bed, a place to decompress and be refreshed through great company and converstation and finally confirmation that NWA is not where I am to be at this season in my life.

I am blessed. Blessed in so many ways. I was driving down 540 the other night returning to my house after a night out with the guys and I can't tell you how much joy came over me during that drive home. It was like a waterfall of happiness was released. God has been so faithful to place incredible friendships in my life. These guys and girls are my rocks. How fruitless and unabundant life would be without friends who stick closer than a brother.

I am also blessed to have a safe place to hide when it is time to retreat and decompress from the hustle. My home is a safe place. I have two rocks in that home whom I can fall on and know everything will be ok when the storm rages on.

Home I have realized is not simply a geogrpahic location but it is a community made up of your friends and family. So no matter how many times that geogrpahic location may change my home, as the old saying goes, is where the heart is.

BLESSED

2007-04-16T10:20:00.000-07:00

Hope this update finds all of you blessed! It is hard to believe that I have now been here in Southern California for three months. How quickly the time has passed. I guess this means I am having way to much fun or just staying way to busy! No, I would say it is a good balance of both. I am staying very busy serving in the mission’s ministry of Saddleback yet having a blast living life out here and being apart of something bigger than myself.

I was talking with Brad, our college pastor at Saddleback the other day. In the course of our conversation he asked me how I am adjusting to the culture of Saddleback Church. I told him I feel like things are moving at a hundred miles an hour with barely enough time to slow down to maneuver the corners, there are a lot of corners to maneuver here. I asked him how long it took him to adjust to the way things happen out here, he came from a church in Norman, Oklahoma yes he is a Sooner, half way jokingly he admitted that he just got adjusted yesterday, he has been out here for two years. However, I feel I am beginning to adjust quickly to the fluid and fast paced environment of Saddleback Church. Though I do have my days, it is an exciting place to be!

Yesterday I headed up to Los Angeles with all of the other interns at Saddleback (There are nine other interns serving in several other ministries at Saddleback). We ended up going to sit in the studio audience of a new game show on FOX called “Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader?” hosted by Jeff Foxworthy. It was a blast! Yes, I will be making a two second TV appearance in six to eight weeks on FOX, Thursday at 7:00 pm central. If you are that bored and remember, it should be fun watching. I know you will be having “Shawn appeared on FOX for two seconds” parties, stay safe, haha!

Do you ever have nights were right as you slip into bed you just smile and say, “Father, thanks for everything!” I tell you what I have experienced a lot of that lately. There are moments that I am overwhelmed with gratefulness. It is true that every good and perfect thing comes from above! God continues to astound me through all that He is doing in me and allowing me to experience during this season of life. I am humbled. I am humbled also by your prayers and your incredible support of me. Your prayers are constantly felt! I praise God for each of you!

I have been blessed to live with my new host family, Jeff and Valerie and their three children Ethan, Lindsay, and Sarah. I have been living there for about a month now and love it. I feel like the big brother! I will usually come home from work and have Lindsay and Ethan, five and seven, waiting upstairs with their Star Wars Light Sabers ready to have an epic light saber battle. I love it!

BUSY

2007-03-01T15:32:00.000-08:00

Well I have been in my new home for about a week now. It has ended up being a good fit for me. The family, Jeff and Valerie and their children Ethan, Lindsey, and Sarah have been a blessing to me thus far. I will be spending 6 months with them so I'm sure they need all the prayers they can get.

I am currently so busy with the new projects I have been assigned. Some days I feel overwhelmed some days I feel like I have a handle on it. The biggest lesson I am learning right now (and a very important lesson) is how to say no though. Many people can quickly be burned out in any job setting simply because they have not learned how to say no to others requests. It is easy to take on tasks coming from all different directions but soon your commitments have caused you more grief and anguish than excitement and confidence. I am learning more and more about what I am capable of daily.

SETTLED IN

2007-02-23T17:54:00.000-08:00

Hope this update finds all of you blessed! My last update mentioned how easy the transition to Orange County life has been. Of course the 70 degree weather has played a significant part in that! It’s funny, I was in Utah last weekend for a retreat up in the mountains and of course it was snowing and cold the whole time. I mentioned to one of the guys, “Man, I can’t wait to get back to Southern California where it’s warm!” Yes I am already completely spoiled by this place, and I have only been here a month! But God has been so active in answering the prayers that have been lifted up for me during this time. I know I am prayed for, that’s why I am so thankful for you who have chosen to remember in your times with the Lord. I am so blessed by you all!

Where to begin? I have become active in CRAVE, the college ministry here at Saddleback. It has been through CRAVE that God has brought an amazing group of people in my life. I have become apart of such a tight community of incredible individuals where there is a tremendous amount of love, support, and faith. I truly cannot ask for more in a group of friends. It is a group in which I am able to do life with, where I can grow spiritually, and at the same time have a blast just living life along side of them. These guys and girls are studs and so sold out to God, this has been such a blessing to me in the craziness of Orange County culture.

It has taken a month to settle into the internship with PEACE. However, God has used this last month to stretch me and fine tune some areas in my life. I am here to serve, regardless of the task! I have been reminded that in all I do to do it wholeheartedly as unto the Lord and not to man. However, as of yesterday I have been assigned my first long term project! I will be helping to develop and create materials along side one of team members that will explain to other churches what a PEACE coach is. PEACE coaches are lay members who essentially coach the trip leaders and team leaders as they prepare for overseas PEACE trips. In that process I will be managing our coaches and working closely along side of them. I cannot wait to jump into this project and am so grateful God has opened up the door for me!

I am learning everyday! God is doing some radical things in my life and so far this has truly been a journey of refinement and renewal. Thank you again for praying! Friends and family, prayer is a mighty weapon in the hands of the saints! Do not shy away from using this weapon boldly and expectantly! I love each of you and I am so blessed to know I have such an incredible group supporting me through this season of my life!

Please do not hesitate to write me or send an email. I would love to hear from you! If you have also considered joining in supporting me financially and just have not had a chance to think on it, of course, do not hesitate, it would be a blessing! There still exists a need on a monthly basis for my living expenses. I ask that you seek God as you consider investing in my journey during these next two years! If you are considering investing in me, please send an email to me. God is the supplier of all our needs! Praise God!

IT IS WINTER, RIGHT?

2007-01-31T22:03:00.000-08:00

Well it seems that while much of the middle of the country is being bombarded by an arctic blast of snow, ice, and bitterly cold weather I am tucked away in this warm pocket of the nation called Southern California. Sunday its suppost to be 75 and Mondy even a warmer, 78. It is winter, right? I think I have forgotten. Apparently you can go to the beach during the winter here. Its a new concept for me and I think I am qucikly starting to love it. I know, I apologize I should not be boasting. I should be suffering out here right? Well sorry folks its Southern California, its God's year round vacation spot. It must be why so many cool things are happening out here. ha.

Well I am just about a month into the internship. It seems so weird to think that its been a month. For some reason this has been the smoothest transition I have ever made to a new place. I feel like I am right at home even though my current living situation is coming to a close. I guess that goes to show that home is not always just a roof over your head but a place where a community you love is. It is true I have found an incredible community of people that God has placed in my life at least for this season. Yes and my living situation, well I will only be living here with the Edward's until February 17 because of prior obligations that they have made. It has been ideal living situation but it is time to move onto a more permanent place which the church is still trying to figure out. This is something you can be praying with me about, that God would bring forth a great family who is willing to host me for at least 6 months.

Being apart of PEACE at Saddleback has been an overwhelming experience so far. There is alot going on in this ministry which means alot to learn and alot to get accustomed to. But so far it has been great. I have jumped in head first and am loving all that I am able to get to sit in on and be apart of. I have learned much about some of the new things going on missions ministry alot of which Saddleback is leading the way on. Which means alot of things are subject to constant change and revision since what is going in missions here is so new. PEACE is essentially a not so traditional way of how missions ministry is done in the church. Its quite revolutionary. I thank God that he has put me at such a place.

I found out this week that I will be leading a team to Rwanda Africa June 2 - 18. I am super stoked about this since it will be my first oppurtunity to mobolize a small team and then lead them on a trip overseas.

Please pray:
That God would provide a family who is willing to host me for a 6 month period.
That I would continue to find my niche in PEACE
That God would help me along the process of preparing a team to travel to Rwanda.

May the peace of God be upon you.

Love and peace to all!

January Update

2007-01-13T15:32:00.000-08:00

Greetings from California,

As I write you my first week in California is coming to a close. I arrived safely to town on the afternoon of the 8th and have hit the ground running. I am meeting new people all over the place and trying to find my niche in this fast paced yet laid back environment called Saddleback Church and Orange County. The transition has come easier than I had expected and I am quickly transitioning into this new season of life. God has been so good on this journey thus far. His provision is evident on a daily basis on all levels of life.

I am living temporarily, maybe just another week, with a couple who have been heavily involved with Saddleback for many years. It has been a blessing to be with some incredible folks who have already made a great impact on my life in the short time that I have known them. I should be finding out within the next week where I will be staying more permanently. Though I may move around several times within my time here it is a blessing to be able have my housing provided in this crazy real estate market here!

I am entering into a season of uncertainty. I cannot see very far in front of me. Yet I rest assured in the promises God has given me concerning this time in my life. I am staying the course and walking in faith knowing that although my eyes cannot see so distantly in the future God has me here for a reason that is bigger than just me. I am so privileged to be apart of a ministry that will be able to equip me to accomplish what God brings before me in the future.

The missions ministry of Saddleback Church is called P.E.A.C.E. The word PEACE stands for, Plant Churches, Equip Leaders, Assist the Poor, Care for the Sick, and Educate the next generation. The P.E.A.C.E. Plan is a mission’s ministry that seeks to empower not only the local body of Saddleback but also the universal body of Christ to go and change the world. This new ministry within the community of Saddleback Church has quickly evolved over the last several years as a new paradigm in how mission’s ministry can be accomplished within the church. The vision of P.E.A.C.E. could have far reaching effects and is indeed already making an impact locally, nationally, and around the globe. Since this is a new ministry and a whole new paradigm in mission’s ministry there are many things that are still being figured out by the P.E.A.C.E. team. There is still a sense of trial and error taking place to find out what works best and what does not. Now I could spend a great amount of time in this letter informing you about PEACE and what my role is with it over the next two years. However, there is still so much more I am figuring out about how not only the P.E.A.C.E. plan works but what my place is in the midst of all of it. Thus, as that pans out over the coming months you will indeed be kept informed on what it is I will be doing.

I praise God for each of you and I am thankful for how God has enabled us to partner together in this journey that God has us on. I ask that you continue to partner with me through your prayers and financial investment. I ask that you pray presently for several things:

• God’s protection on all levels, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
• That God would bring forth a group of friends in my life who would uplift me spiritually and who would be group who I can simply do life with.
• God’s continual provision financially so that I can live out here in Southern California.
• That God would continue to bring forth incredible opportunities that would help equip me for my future ministry.

Please feel free to email or call me. I would love to here from you! Thanks again your prayers, they are truly coveted!

Love and Blessings to all,

A WORD ON AFRICA

2006-11-16T17:18:00.000-08:00

I sit, I think, I recall. Africa. I was there. What comes to mind? Hot, scantly clad natives, mud huts, malaria, harvest field, hunger, poverty and AIDS. Well every one of those words would describe Africa quite well, except hot, it wasn't it was actually quite nice. I saw mud huts, I slept under a mosquito net, I saw hunger, I saw poverty, I shook hands with and touched hundreds of people being destroyed by AIDS.

I saw. This is my testimony and my experience. I saw. Hearing something only allows you to be taken into a shallow level of understanding about something. Hearing about something makes you aware of its presence, it allows you to think over what it is you hear about and wonder. Well I not only heard but I saw. I saw a lot of things that words alone don't accurately describe but things that will forever change my outlook on life. I cannot articulate all of it, but I give you this testimony in a few short words. I saw a boy covered in dirt, yet smiling ear to ear. I saw a child whose enlarged stomach gave evidence of its emptiness. I saw pain. I saw people whose flesh covered up the death that fills their blood. I saw youth laugh at the thought of a life of sexual morality and purity. I saw a country being destroyed by AIDS resulting in 84,000 deaths a year. I saw a country that AIDS keeps the average lifespan at 20 years. I saw injustice to humanity. I saw poverty at its best. I saw an orphan ailed by HIV healed by God. I saw faces illuminate with hope because a message of good news. I saw a man walk 12 miles to find out how to become a follower of Jesus Christ. I saw a New Testament church. I saw men of God who are tirelessly expanding the kingdom of God in Africa. I saw much. My heart is in Africa for my heart belongs to the God who is indeed on the move in Africa.

THE JOURNEY BEGINS AT THE FALL

2006-11-16T17:17:00.000-08:00

Where to begin? Its funny how life begins once you leave the familiar. I have over the last several years gone through a series of new beginnings and will soon be embarking on a whole new adventure into some unfamiliar territory. This is were life begins though. These new beginnings, leaving the familiar for the unknown has given me the chance to grow in ways in which embracing the familiar would never have given me. How often do we settle for and hold on to that which we know so well. I am one of those people, well maybe its just because were I am at in this time of my life where if I don't have something new to jump into I become bored. Contentment. Am I content? In some ways yes in alot of ways no. Contentment is both my misery and my comfort. My misery, in that if I remain in a life of contentment I will soon be over taken by a draw to the unknown resulting in a certain misery of not knowing whats over the next ridge. My comfort, in knowing that everything will be ok if I stand still. Life will go on and it will most likely be good yet how often do we simply stand still out of the fear of not knowing whats on the other side of a decision. Sometimes you have to ust let go and jump in. Theres a beautiful feeling that comes in letting go and jumping in to something unknown. Why is that? Yes that feeling is wrapped in fear yet there is something in that fear that draws you closer into the adventure of discovery. Falling, falling, falling. Its like when you jump off a cliff into water, there is a moment of fear before you jump, a moment of fear while you are falling, yet in the fall there is a beautiful moment of discovering what its like to let go and simply fall. Many decisions in life require you to not know how deep the water is your jumping into or knowing at all if there is anything below to stop your fall. However, I guess the beauty in the fall is simply trusting in the unseen. The fall is the adventure. Live life. Learn how to let go and fall into the unknown and the unfamiliar, a process I am still learning. Though it is the hardest part of life it is the most rewarding because it results in the aliveness of your soul. Journey on. The adventure begins at the fall.